


Let's Pretend We're Kids Again

by fairytaleslayer



Series: Beau-Centric One Shots [5]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Beauregard needs a mom and is getting one whether she likes it or not, F/F, Kima is going to care and complain about it the whole damn time, one just as stubborn and prickly as she is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2020-12-24 07:07:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 39,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21095414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairytaleslayer/pseuds/fairytaleslayer
Summary: Just when their previous charges are 'all grown up', Allura meets a new batch of kids that need her and Kima's help.Particularly one prickly monk.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was just for fun.

“I met the strangest group today,” Allura mused to her wife as she walked out of the teleportation circle in their home.

“Oh yeah? In Wildemount?” Kima asked.

Allura dropped an absentminded kiss on the top of her head. “Yes. A young adventuring group that –”

“No,” Kima interrupted. “Don’t tell me you’ve adopted another batch of ducklings Allie. The Vox Machina kids were enough. Are _still_ enough. Grog just fucking dragged me into a brawl last week! And don’t even get me started on the little shit quarter elves that are far too much like their parents and aunts and uncles. We’re too old for this shit.”

“I know,” Allura chuckled. “But I truly think you’d like some of this group.”

Kima sighed and grabbed her sword, settling down to sharpen it like she did whenever she was feeling antsy. “Alright. Tell me about these kids.”

“Well there was this one – a monk of some practice, I am sure, but I don’t know which temple she belongs to. I didn’t recognize her vestiges. You would definitely like her – she looked like she was itching for a fight, and if I’m not mistaken, was certainly – observing me.”

“So I need to kill her,” Kima decided.

“Darling, she’s a good thirty years younger than us,” Allura smiled over at her wife. “She was just a kid getting a look. No harm in that – she was very respectful, honestly. They were the strangest, eclectic bunch though. Much more suspicious than Vox Machina ever were when they met us.”

Kima scoffed. “Speak for yourself. Keyleth trusted an insane Ilithid more than she did me.”

Allura rubbed her shoulder. “Keyleth was a very young druid stuck underground with abominations, who was terrified she didn’t truly have a place within Vox Machina, and saw you as someone who fit in much better with them. And look at you two now – you know she considers you one of her best friends,” she comforted.

“I know. I should make a trip up to Zephra soon. Been meaning to. It’s been a couple years. But anyway – you were telling me about this other group. What’s their name, they definitely have a name.”

Allura frowned. “The Mighty Nine. Which didn’t make much sense to me, since there were only six of them. They are currently missing a member, which is causing them a great deal of distress, but still that only makes seven. Beauregard – the monk – said something about it being actually Zemnian, but I’m not familiar with that language so I still don’t know what that has to do with it.”

Kima cracked a laugh. “It would be Nein, then. Means ‘no’. There was a guy at Bahamut’s temple that could speak it. They really call themselves the Mighty No? You’re right. I do like them.”

“Well you can come with the next time I go over. I offered some assistance, and I’m sure they would not turn down more help. Maybe we should bring Keyleth,” Allura mused. “A couple of the Nein follow the Wildmother, and if there’s any goddess Keyleth has somewhat of a relationship with, it’s Melora. You think she’d like a break from Tempest duties for a few days?”

“Oh, I’m sure. But I want to check these guys out first. You know Kiki gets excited about new people. I want to make sure they’re good ones before you bring her into it,” Kima decided.

Allura shook her head, kissing Kima affectionately. “I love how protective you are when it’s not directed at me,” she teased.

“Yeah, yeah,” Kima blushed. “She may live for another thousand years, but she’s still a kid right now, so I’m well within my rights.”

“I thought they weren’t our kids?”

“The rest of those fuckers can look after themselves,” Kima grumbled. “But if I feel like being protective of arguably the most powerful person on this planet who coos over every baby she sees – person or animal – I damn well will. I don’t care if she can travel to any plane on a whim – Kiki needs people lookin’ out for her.”

* * *

The Mighty Nein turned into a ‘thing’. The little blue one – Jester – messaged Allura at very odd hours, day or night, somehow at the most awkward of moments _always_. Every time she and Kima fell into bed – in their fifties they may be, but old they were _not_ – Allura had almost begun to expect to hear Jester’s enthusiastic voice chiming in with the strangest of questions.

Today was no exception. “Hey Miss Allura! We were wondering – if you could – come to Nicodranas again – we _might _need your help but it’s okay if you’re busy bye!”

Allura sighed, dropping her head to the sheets beside Kima’s. “What is it, Allie?”

“Jester again,” Allura groaned. “Every single time. I can’t get any alone time with you and she’s not even _on _this continent.”

Kima chuckled, pushing Allura to sit so she could as well. “What’d she want?” She had quickly grown fond of the little group of young adventurers, even though she still had yet to meet them.

“For me to meet them in Nicodranas. Again. Perhaps I should explain to the girl that I am on the council here and _busy_.”

“Aw come on Allie. You need a vacation, and I want to meet the kiddos. You said they were having a rough go of it, yeah? Maybe we can help.”

“Who is adopting ducklings now?” Allura pointed out.

Kima shrugged. “I’m bored, they sound like they do interesting things, and I know you’re sick of council proceedings, especially since Assum and Tofor retired. Let’s go have some fun, maybe kick a little ass like we used to.”

“Oh very well,” Allura sighed. She made a few gestures, then, “Jester, I will be at Yussa’s tower _in the morning_. _Please_ do not disturb him tonight. I will see all of you then. Good night.”

* * *

Beau was surprised when Allura did not come out of the teleportation circle alone. No, a halfling in heavy armor – carrying a battle axe(?) across her back – followed after her. She looked ready for war, scars on her face and the visible skin of her forearms near her wrists. She looked fucking badass.

“Hello, all,” Allura greeted, always sounding so fucking regal and shit. Beau couldn’t get over how cool she sounded, like did all wizards sound like that eventually? Because Yussa did too. Would Caleb sound like that eventually? He was such a nervous dude until sometimes when he decided not to be. Maybe he was just working it out still. And now Allura knew this crazy cool halfling. But Allura wasn’t done. “I would like to introduce my wife, Lady Kima of Vord, follower of Bahamut.”

Ho-ly _shit_. Beau had read about the Paladin Kima, and now that she thought about it, Allura Vysoren as well. They had been part of the group that vanquished the Scourged Rider over thirty years ago, and helped the legendary group Vox Machina dispose of the Chroma Conclave when Beau was a toddler. Wildemount had been mostly unaffected by the collection of dragons, apart from the lost dragonborn city that was subjugated by Vorugal the White, but Beau had read all about them. They were the only historical studies she’d paid attention to, wanting to be like them when she was small. If Beau had a childhood hero – it was Kima. And she was _married _to Allura? The books had never mentioned that.

“Kima, these are the – Mighty Nein. I apologize, you must remind me of some of your names.”

Jester exclaimed, bouncy as ever. “You follow the Platinum Dragon? I graffitied one of his temples once!”

Beau winced when Kima stiffened just a bit. “Jester,” she muttered. “Maybe not the best time to mention that, or the best person? Come on, we want them to like us.”

“Oh, well – you know – not that he’s not super cool and all it was just a little trick!” She held out her hand to Kima. “Hi! I’m Jester.”

Kima seemed torn between amusement and affront at the insult to Bahamut’s temple. “Right. Pleasure.”

“Pardon her,” Fjord said politely. “I’m Fjord, this here is Caduceus –”

“Hey,” Caduceus interrupted, giving a wave.

“ – we follow the Wildmother,” Fjord continued. “That over there is Caleb Widogast, and Nott is behind him. And –”

“I’m Beau,” the monk said before Fjord could introduce her. She didn’t want to sound too eager, but it was exciting. She didn’t get excited very often over something that wasn’t a fight – it was a good feeling. “I uh – I’ve read about you. You’re in books. That’s fucking crazy. And you,” she pointed at Allura, “I didn’t know you were _the _Allura Vysoren of Tal’dorei. That’s just –”

Nott poked her head out from behind Caleb for the first time, wary of the two semi-strangers seeing her goblin face but the urge to tease too strong to resist. “Beau? Are you – blushing?”

Beau blushed harder and aimed a kick at Nott, causing the goblin to yelp. “No! Shut _up_, Nott!” she hissed.

“You were right,” Kima said to Allura in Halfling. “I do like them. Whatever it is they need help with, I say we go for it. And just last week you denied feeling lonely with the ‘empty nest’.”

Beau and Nott’s eyes both snapped to Kima, shocked. “Wait. What?” Beau spluttered. “Really? Just like that?”

It was Kima’s turn to look embarrassed at being overheard. “Two of you speak Halfling. Noted. Odd.”

“Long story,” Nott shook her head.

“My parents had halfling employees. _She’s_ a halfling reincarnated into a goblin after being killed by goblins. Not that long, Nott,” Beau said. Nott had decided she was willing to be more open about her past, but was still wary sometimes of sharing.

“We might have a bard who can help with that,” Allura mused. “He hates goblins, but once we get past the introductions and keep him from attacking on sight, I think he’d be all for assisting you. And showing off. He _loves _showing off.” Allura rolled her eyes.

Kima scoffed. “That little fucker. Just watch what he says – sometimes Scanlan likes to try to make you forget things happened,” she grumbled.

“You really must let that go one day, darling.”

“Never.”

“Wait. Scanlan Shorthalt? Of Vox Machina?” Beau was excited all over again. Of course, she knew the pair were friends with Vox Machina, had worked with them closely – she’d read about it. But reading was one thing, hearing was another. “And you know Keyleth, the Voice of the Tempest? And the Lord and Lady of Whitestone?”

All the rest of the Might Nein were staring at Beau, confused by her eager questions. While it had become obvious in the last few months that Beau was just as willing to peruse libraries as Caleb, they tended to let her keep up the appearance of hating books and research. To see her so open about her knowledge was new.

“Stay away from Scanlan,” Kima warned. “He’ll try to woo any and all of you into bed with him the moment he meets you – married or not.” She didn’t miss the way Beau wrinkled her nose at the mention of sex with the gnome, easily confirming what Allura had asserted. Kima would have to talk with Beau one on one, see where the kid was at with everything. She was grown, probably had it handled, but it never hurt to check.

“Is it true that the Tempest can turn into any creature? Even dragons?” Beau asked instead, changing the subject. Keyleth of the Air Ashari had always been one of her favorite stories, besides Kima.

Allura chuckled. “She is quite adept, yes. I believe it was last year she and Scanlan held a fighting competition as dragons. Keyleth won, if I remember correctly.”

“Stomped his ass you mean,” Kima laughed. “You weren’t there Allie but you should have been. Most fun I had all year.”

“Back to the reason for our visit,” Allura steered the conversation back on topic, “what was it you were requesting our help for?”

There was silence for a few moments as the jovial mood died down. “To get Yasha back,” Beau finally spoke up, her tone becoming serious and sad all at once.

“Your friend that was taken from you?”

They all nodded, but left Beau to explain. “He turned her against us. She didn’t want to, we know she doesn’t want any part of him, but he’s – _controlling _her somehow. And she follows the Stormlord but he’s not fucking _doing _anything to help. We’ve tried everything to get Yasha back, but his _call_ over her or whatever the fuck it is isn’t something we can beat. We – I – think he’s going to try to replace her soul with someone else’s. We have to get her before that happens.”

“Who is this ‘he’?” Kima asked, intrigued. She’d never heard of soul displacement of a kind like that. Take over for a short time, sure, but nothing permanent like Beau was describing.

“Obann, a fiend. We killed him, the night he first took Yasha, but obviously she found a way to bring him back,” Fjord added his input.

Caleb jumped in. “He has a connection to – at least one – Betrayer God from the time of the eh, Calamity.”

“The point is, he’s too powerful for us, and we’re running out of time,” Beau finished. “We have to get Yasha back. We _have _to.”

Allura recognized the desperation in Beau’s voice akin to that she’d felt when she sent Vox Machina to Kraghammer after Kima all those years ago. She glanced down at Kima, and by the look in her eyes, could tell Kima was thinking the same thing.

“Will you help us? Please?” Jester asked, serious for the first time.

Kima and Allura looked at each other, silently communicating for a moment. “Yes,” Kima said for both of them.

* * *

“Hey Beau. Come over here for a minute; let’s talk,” Kima called.

Beau’s shoulders instinctively hiked up, then back down a split second later. If Kima hadn’t been looking directly at her, she would have missed it. She frowned, wondering what would cause the monk to be so defensive. She probably didn’t have the right to ask, but that never really stopped her. Beau wandered over and took a seat next to Kima, not quite making eye contact.

Kima decided to try and lighten the kid up first. “So – Beau. My wife was telling me the day you met you had a bit of a – wandering eye – shall we say?”

Beau blushed so hard it was obvious even with her complexion. “I – I, uh – I didn’t – nah, man. I mean – I didn’t know who she was, you know? You married her. You know she’s hot.” Beau cringed. “I mean uh.”

Kima’s laughter kept Beau from digging herself into an even deeper pit. “Relax kiddo. I’m just giving you shit.”

“Oh. Cool. Sorry, though. I don’t – interfere. Not my style.”

“What about this Yasha then? You obviously care about her, the way you were talking before. She more your style?”

Beau fidgeted with the ribbon on her staff, not making eye contact. “Even before all this shit, she wasn’t – available, I suppose. She had a wife who was murdered, and her whole thing with the Stormlord had her leaving us behind all the time. I feel like we’ve been without her just as often as she stays.”

“One of Vox Machina was like that for a long time. Pike is a follower of Sarenrae, and she often had to leave them for the sake of her goddess.”

“How did they deal with it?”

Kima sighed. “You cherish the moments you have with them, ‘cause you never know when it’ll be the last time. You trust that they’ll come back – that they’re always trying to get back.”

“I guess. How long have you and Allura been together?” Beau changed the subject.

“Oh, that is a long and complicated answer. We used to adventure around together too, you know.”

Beau nodded eagerly. “You defeated Thordak before he became the Cinder King. I read all about it at the Cobalt Soul.”

So _that’s _where she trained. She didn’t wear the uniform. Kima made a mental note to tell Allura that later. “Right. We lost most of our friends in that fight,” she said with a sad smile. Even after all these years, she still missed them. “Everyone but me, Allie, and one other. Allie and I had been together for a while but after that fight…it was too much. We went our separate ways for a bit. A bit turned into ten years of casual letters and only seeing each other once or twice. We were on different continents. I know she saw other people casually, and I tried, but – no one was Allie. Then, I got into some trouble on a mission for Bahamut, and Allura had a bad feeling and sent a baby Vox Machina after me.” Kima brightened at that, chuckling as she remembered how _young_ and brash they had been. So confident in themselves – besides Keyleth, of course – and sure they were right. “After that, it didn’t take long for us to get back together. I returned to Issylra for a bit, but when everything with the Chroma Conclave happened, I went to Tal’dorei, and I haven’t left Allura since.”

“…Wow.”

“But enough about us. We’re old – mostly done adventuring these days. Allura’s busy – helping run the fucking continent and I help out where I can. But tell me about this place. Been a while since I’ve been somewhere entirely new.” Kima sat up straighter, a bit of excitement entering her features.

Beau glanced around. “Nicodranas? I mean – it’s interesting, I guess. Don’t know much about it. Didn’t grow up here. I’m from the Empire, been spending some time in the Kryn Dynasty, been all over the place recently.”

“Aren’t the Empire and Dynasty at war? How’d you swing that?”

“It’s complicated. I don’t – owe any allegiance to the Empire beyond my mentor from the Cobalt Soul, and we curried some favor with the Dynasty by returning a ‘sacred’ object they consider their god that was stolen by the Empire ages ago,” Beau gave the quick rundown. “Honestly it’s hard to keep straight anymore who we’re working for. Who’s on the right side and who isn’t. I can’t keep track. I – we – just want Yasha, and she’s in the Dynasty with fucking Obann, so that’s where we’ve been mostly. We had a clue that something that could help would be in this other – dimension – inside this thing we picked up from a friend. She called it the Happy Fun Ball.”

Kima chuckled. “Happy Fun Ball?”

“Yeah. Not fun at all – there was a dragon inside.” Beau shuddered, remembering leaving her friends behind on accident only to be met with Yasha’s furious expression the moment she reappeared on the ship. “But apparently there’s more to it, including a way to maybe kill Obann’s other follower, if we can get to it.”

“Huh.” Kima sat back, rocking her axe back and forth while she thought. “Well. That is a pickle.”

Beau hmphed. “No kidding.”

“Can’t promise you anything kiddo, but Allura and I will help if we can. You and the rest – you seem like you’ve got good heads on your shoulders, just a bit out of your depth. Can’t tell you how many times that happened with our last kids, including each time they decided to kill a dragon. Seems you’re one up on them already with that. We’ll head into this – ‘fun ball’ – and see what’s up. After that, we’ll worry about getting your girl back. So you can stop staring at mine,” Kima couldn’t help but tease.

The monk flushed again. “I wasn’t!” she protested over Kima’s laughter.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some people wanted it, and I got an idea, so here you go.

“Um, _hi_ Allura!” Jester’s voice practically shouted through the mirror, startling both Allura and Kima to wakefulness. Allura reached for the mirror, yawning, while Kima just shoved a pillow over her head, grumbling and muttering about ‘annoying Tiefling children’.

Allura pat her hair into place before looking into the mirror. “Jester, little one, do you have any idea what _time_ it is here?”

“No but you’re asking so probably pretty late butwehaveasituation a _serious_ situation!” Jester’s voice ramped up all over again.

“What is it, Jester?” Allura sighed heavily.

“Okay so! You see there was this _thing_ right? And we all _said _‘No no no don’t touch it we shouldn’t touch it’. But then _Nott_ said –” There was a pause and then a thump of something hitting cloth, and Nott’s very characteristic screech. “_Nott _said, ‘Bet you won’t touch it’, so of course she touched it and _now _she’s gone and so is the _thing_ and wecan’tfindheranywhere we don’t know where she went please can you help please!?”

Allura, having tried to interrupt multiple times only to get completely run over by Jester’s frantic words, finally managed to make herself heard. “Jester. _Jester_. Who is gone?”

“Beau!”

The wizard looked over at her wife, who still had her head buried under a pillow and was desperately trying to get back to sleep. “Darling, your kid is in trouble.”

“Which one?” the muffled question filtered through the fabric.

Allura chuckled at Kima not even trying to deny that she’d grown attached to the little band of adventurers. “Young Beauregard, it sounds like.”

The pillow flew off the bed and slammed into the opposite wall. “What did that little cretin do now?” she demanded, stealing the mirror from Allura.

* * *

Kima had to wait until morning for Allura to be ready to teleport them to the Nein’s current location. She spent the rest of the night pacing, grumbling about how someone as smart as the young monk could be so easily goaded into stupidity by her friends. Bahamut save her, were she and Allura ever that stupid?

And no. Kima did _not _need to be reminded about the time she managed to get herself briefly eaten by a carnivorous plant the size of two of her because Dohla dared her to, thank you _very _much.

Finally, Allura was set, and they were off back to Wildemount. It had only been a month since they had helped the Nein get Yasha back and herself again, meeting the actually quite gentle Aasimar briefly before heading home to let the group heal together. Kima had wanted to stay and assess this Yasha, see if she was worth Beau’s useless pining, but Allura had forced her to go home.

They landed a little bit off target, but Jester and Caduceus quickly tracked them down and dragged them over to the rest of the Nein. Kima sent a hard glare in Nott’s direction, who cowered safely up on Yasha’s shoulders. “Alright. What’d this fucking – gate, or whatever, look like?” she growled.

“Very pretty,” was Caduceus’ helpful input.

Fjord rolled his eyes. “It was about five feet in diameter, glowing, and appeared when Caleb set off a trap in the caves over there.” He pointed off toward the now distant caverns.

“Yeah we think it was meant to catch anyone who might have been like, running through the cave and not paying attention but, you know, we were being super careful and everything!” Jester added. “That was like, the first trap we set off in the whole place we. were doing. awesome.”

“Until one of you dared Beau to touch a portal,” Kima muttered. “Did any of you bother to identify it before she went through it? Or were you all just flying by the seat of your pants?”

Allura rested a hand on Kima’s shoulder. “Calm down, my love,” she said quietly. “Shouting at them will get us nowhere.”

“It’ll get _me _somewhere,” Kima grumped. “What are you thinking Allie? Gate spell? Ward attached teleport, or plane shift? There wasn’t a tree nearby, was there? No, you said it was in the cave. Fucking teleportation spells – Allie, what if she’s in the middle of the ocean right now?”

Her wife quickly soothed her. “Even if she was, she is not weighed down by full plate armor like you were, and is fully capable of swimming for some time, I would wager. However, perhaps we should first ask if you managed to scry on Beauregard?” Allura directed toward the group.

Caduceus nodded. “Oh, yeah. She’s not swimming,” he said in his lumbering way. “Was a bit dark, but that’s caves for you.”

“She’s probably still in the fucking cavern Allie,” Kima groaned. “Honestly, you six! Did you even bother _looking _for her before freaking out and calling us? Kids today, I swear…” She started marching off toward the cave. Yasha scrambled after her, Nott still on her shoulders and quickly followed by Jester. Fjord, Caduceus, Caleb, and Allura brought up the rear.

Fjord leaned over to ask Allura quietly, “I mean no offense, but is your wife always this – animated? Only because I worry about Beau when we do find her, you see.” He chuckled nervously.

“Oh, she only gets like this with people she cares about,” Allura said with a light laugh. “You should have seen her when she learned Vox Machina had allied themselves with an ancient green, conniving bitch of a dragon in order to deal with an ancient white, then red one. She ranted for a month. Beauregard will be lucky if I pull Kima away after this afternoon.”

* * *

Getting Beau back from the coven of hags that had captured her took a few days, though Beau seemed to have caused plenty of mischief while she was in their possession. The night hag, in particular, gave them some trouble, as the one responsible for stealing Beau away and causing some other problems for Beau to deal with. But after a hard fought battle that involved Beau breaking out of the cage they’d confined her to and lighting the last hag up with her retrieved gauntlets, peace reigned in the caverns once more.

Kima immediately gestured for Beau to lean over, grabbed her by the scruff of the neck, and proceeded to drag her out of the cave over her protests.

“Hey! What the fuck, Kima? What are you even doing here let me go,” she whined, batting uselessly at the much stronger halfling’s grip.

“No brains, no opinion!” Kima spat back, tossing Beau to the ground just outside the cave entrance. “Explain to me just what the fuck you were thinking Beau. Huh? Touching a portal without knowing what was on the other side? Do you _have _a death wish I didn’t know about? Did you _want _the rest of your friends to feel what you felt while Yasha was missing?”

Allura wisely kept the rest of the Nein away from the arguing pair, sparing Beau some embarrassment while Kima shouted her feelings out. It was best for all parties if no one else got involved. Beau’s cheeks were red as she dusted herself off.

“I don’t need you getting after me too,” she muttered. “I get enough of it from literally everyone else.”

Kima crossed her arms and glared up at Beau. “Then explain to me your thought process. If you even had one at all.”

Beau growled and spun around, landing a solid punch on the cavern wall that had her cursing split knuckles. Kima let her bash out her anger and just waited quietly for Beau to calm down again. “Because everyone else – they all have a _thing_. Either magic or powers or gods at their beck and call. And yeah, I should just be fucking used to it by now, but it’s _stupid_. So when Jes and Duceus couldn’t figure out what the glowy circle was, yeah. I touched it. I’m the expendable one who can usually pull herself out of shit situations. I’m not half bad at talking my way out of things – just no one is ever around to fucking hear me. Obviously _this_ time it didn’t fucking work, but it has before. I’m the best one to throw into that kind of danger.”

“Sit down. I’m getting a crick in my neck staring up at you all the time,” was all Kima said at first. Beau grumbled but complied, not meeting Kima’s eyes. “Now. You listen to me Beauregard. Me or any of your other friends following a god does not make us in any way more valuable than you. Do you understand that? Nor does magic. Allura will be the first to tell you that it can be taken away from her all too easily, and then she’s worse than useless.”

“But –”

Kima cut off any protest. “No. It’s my turn Beau; you had your piece. You have something none of the rest of your friends can even hope to accomplish, if you would just pull your thick numbskull out of the ground and pay attention for one second.” She whacked Beau on the back of the head for emphasis, making the younger woman hiss. “You can do things I’ve seen only a master monk do, and he had an extra six decades of training on you. And your group is a bit dominated by magic, and I can see how that would make you feel like you didn’t measure up. I _get _that, Beau. But you need to realize just how much those idiots rely on you. They got so scared when you disappeared that they didn’t even try to start with looking for you, like any _sane_,” Kima shot a glare over at the rest, “people would do. They called us immediately. They need your level head.”

Beau sighed and hung her head, prompting Kima to relent and wrap her arms around Beau’s shoulders. It was probably a bit harder and tighter than it needed to be, but Kima had been _concerned_, damn it.

“You worried me kid,” Kima muttered into Beau’s hair before shoving her away. Beau went with a chuckle, knowing all was forgiven. Kima plopped herself down on the ground next to the monk. “Alright. Since Jester dragged us _all_ the way out to Wildemount, tell me what’s going on with you. Did you finally get Yasha to flirt back at you?”

Beau blushed red again and she scuffed at the dirt. “No, _geez _Kima.”

“I don’t know, she was pretty quick to follow me into the caves to rescue you,” Kima mused.

“For the love of fucking everything, please stop,” Beau begged. “No.”

Kima surrendered, chuckling. “Alright, alright.” They were quiet for a moment, before Beau yawned and started leaning over. Kima guided her down to her shoulder, hoping Beau didn’t mind the cold plate armor. She didn’t seem to. “Glad to have you back kiddo. Don’t scare me like that again.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter Keyleth

“So!” Keyleth chirped, happily setting herself down where Kima was watching some of the smaller Air Ashari tribe members practice their knife throwing. “Allura told me you two have made some new friends?”

Kima chuckled. “Some annoyances, rather. They’re worse than you all were when I met you, I swear.”

Keyleth just shrugged agreeably. “The rest didn’t really listen to me back then,” she agreed.

“Not like they should’ve.”

“But tell me about these people; are they young, just starting? Met any cool creatures I’ve never heard of? Allura said they’re from Wildemount? That’s interesting! I’ve never actually been to Wildemount I should go.”

Kima held up her hands to get Keyleth’s eager rambling to slow down. “Yeah, they’re all on Wildemount, Kiki. And I don’t know about creatures, but one of the party is a race I’d never met. A Firbolg?”

“Oh! I’ve always wanted to spend time with some of them!” Keyleth said excitedly. “They’re so close to their homes, with the nature around them. There’d be so much to learn from them!”

“Caduceus is definitely ‘one’ with nature, I would say,” Kima acknowledged. “Allie and I actually talked about bringing you on over to meet him and Fjord – they both follow Melora. Thought you might get a kick out of that whole affair.”

Keyleth nodded. “It has been a while since she and I chatted. But I’m not giving them the Spire.” She pulled the staff propped up next to her just a little closer to her side, protective over the Vestige.

The act made Kima laugh louder. “I don’t think any of them want it, Kiks. You can keep the stick. There’s someone else I want you to meet in the Nein. She has an unhealthy relationship with her stick too.”

“It’s a _staff_, thank you very much.”

“It’s stick shaped and made of wood. Same difference.”

* * *

The next time Jester called for Allura’s help, it was apparently on Beau’s suggestion. They were up against a dragon, of all things, and for once, Kima really wanted to ignore them. She’d had so much more than enough of dragons to last her a lifetime. “No. You know what? Call Keyleth,” she told Allura. “You don’t want to fight another dragon. _I _don’t want you fighting another dragon. Keyleth and I can take care of this one Allie.”

“I am _perfectly_ capable –”

“I know Allura,” Kima said, serious faced. “You are the most amazing arcanist in the world, no matter what Scanlan believes. But don’t try to lie to me and tell me that you _want_ to go face a dragon ever again.”

Allura slumped a bit in her chair. “Well. Of course I do not. But if they need our help…”

“Keyleth and I can help the little ones well enough Allie,” Kima reassured her. “She’s not the most powerful person in all of fucking Exandria for nothing, y’know. Besides – I want her to meet Beau and watch the kid drool.”

That brought a smile to her wife’s face, Kima’s intention. “Oh, very well. I’ll give Keyleth a call. Don’t be too terrible to Beauregard, dear.”

“Me? Puh,” Kima scoffed. “Never.”

She was going to be the _worst _about this. Especially if it had been Beau’s idea to fight a _dragon_. Served the kid right.

* * *

“Ooooh,” Keyleth hissed, getting a look at the ancient black dragon the Mighty Nein were currently fighting. “That thing is almost as big as Umbrasyl.”

A blue blur skidded to a stop in front of them. “About time you showed up Kima,” Beau panted. “Where’s Allura?”

“Sorry!” Keyleth apologized right away, making Kima roll her eyes. “You get me instead. Hi! I’m Keyleth!”

Beau’s jaw dropped when she got a look at Keyleth and she immediately began stuttering. “I – Hi – Voice of the –” She elbowed Kima when she snorted.

“Beau!” Fjord snapped from a dozen yards away. “Little help here? Ancient, terrible dragon?” he reminded her impatiently.

“Oh! Right!” Keyleth readied the Spire, sending a jet of flame at the dragon from a hundred feet away.

Beau zoomed back to the dragon just as he was trying to fly away. “Hey fucker!” she yelled, sending lightning through its wing and forcing it to land. “Down here! Eat me!” she dared it when it snarled furiously at her.

Kima rolled her eyes again with a long suffering sigh before unsheathing her axe and beginning the trek toward the fight, left behind by her protege. “Why me Bahamut?” she questioned. “Why do I always get myself stuck with the dumbass children?” When she reached Beau’s side a number of seconds later, she reached out and slapped the monk up the side of the head, placing a ward against death on her stupid charge as she did. “If you could not goad the dragon that will absolutely eat you if it wants, that would be fucking great,” she scolded.

“Aww, but I always wanted to die in the acid pools of a dragon’s digestive tract,” Beau whined, hitting the dragon with lightning again as it tried to fly, almost seeming to pull it back to the ground.

Kima landed a solid attack with her axe, taking out a chunk and managing to banish the dragon for a moment. While they had a minute to breathe, she rounded on Beau. “So who’s grand idea was this then?”

Arms raised immediately in defense as Beau protested, “Hey, don’t look at me. He started wreaking havoc on the town a few miles south of here. The Bright Queen sent us to check it out, and cue fucking dragon.”

“Well I might have a word then with this Bright Queen who thinks sending out some fucking kids is the best way to solve a dragon problem,” Kima muttered. “Let Keyleth do the heavy lifting on this one, Beau. She’s got the most experience with dragons. And don’t get shifty on me,” she shut down Beau’s indignance with a glance. “You know I’m right.”

Beau wilted a bit. “Fine. But I’m not running away. I’m an up close fighter Kima.” Anything else she had in mind to say was overpowered by the roar of a newly appeared ancient copper dragon, just in time for the black dragon to blink back into existence.

Kima gripped Beau by the arm. “And don’t freak out. That’s Keyleth.”

“O-Oh. Right. Not gonna lie, I was about to freak out just a little bit. I don’t think we can take two dragons.”

“I don’t think you can take one dragon,” Kima said under her breath.

Even with the Keyleth Dragon helping in the fight, Beau, Fjord, and Yasha went down multiple times in the next few minutes – too often caught in the acid spraying out from the black dragon’s mouth. Kima managed to keep Beau alive – barely – leaving the clerics to worry about the other two. It had been a close call with Fjord, but Caduceus managed to slide in at the last second and pull him from death’s door.

Beau was swaying on her feet when the dragon finally fell to Kima’s axe. She had been able to keep the thing on the ground for most of the fight – somehow. The joke about being eaten had nearly come to pass, and Beau was just a bit shaken from the encounter.

Keyleth had shrunk back down to her normal half-elven form, and normally Beau would be back to star-struck around her, but she was just too tired at the moment. “Thanks for the help,” she murmured, a little too beat to shit to mind her words either. “You’re – super powerful. ‘S hot.”

“Well.” Keyleth blushed a bit. “That’s nice of you to say…Um, how are you doing? You need a bit of healing?” She startled when Beau suddenly weaved in her direction, woozy from her injuries. “Of course you do okay.” Keyleth placed a hand on Beau’s sternum, letting the powerful spell flow through the monk. Numerous acid burns and gashes healed before her eyes, leaving Beau nearly bewildered at how much better she felt.

“Wow. Caduceus needs a spell like that.” Beau straightened up, checking the rest of herself over for any more injuries. “Thanks. I uh, I’ve read about you – and Vox Machina!” she added hurriedly. “All of you! And like, the Chroma Conclave, and Vecna, and it’s really fucking cool what you all did. You guys were the only thing the Cobalt Soul didn’t have to force me to read.” She fidgeted with her bo, not making eye contact before searching around desperately for Kima.

The halfling was a little ways away, trying not to laugh at Beau’s sudden awkwardness. “Making friends, kiddo?”

Beau elbowed Kima, embarrassed at the teasing nickname. “I’m an adult,” she whined under her breath.

“Prove it.”

“Fuck you, Kima.”

Keyleth chose that moment to interrupt, and Beau thanked Ioun for that. “Hii, hi.” She gave an awkward little wave. She acted nothing like Beau thought she would, except for the part where she turned into a fucking dragon. That had been awesome. But otherwise, she seemed kind of – shy? Not what Beau had been expecting. “I introduced myself, but I feel like I didn’t really finish? Uh, I’m Keyleth, a friend of Kima and Allura’s, but you seem to already know about me…people wrote books about me? That’s – weird. That’s weird isn’t it Kima?”

“When you save the world twice, Kiki, books tend to get written,” Kima drawled, like they’d had this or a similar talk multiple times over the last twenty years.

“Oh. Yeah. It’s still weird though isn’t it? Do you think the books know about that time I jumped off a cliff and accidentally turned into a goldfish instead of a bird and died? They don’t know about that right?”

Beau shook her head, trying to keep up. “You _died_?”

“Oh we all have – some multiple times,” Keyleth waved her off. “You kind of get used to it? The twins were always a bit reckless. Vex died on her wedding day. That sounds terrible, maybe I shouldn’t have said that. Kima hasn’t died, have you Kima?”

“Not personally, no. Allura died binding Thordak to the Fire Realm when we fought him the first time. It took all of her power, and her heart gave out. Took a lot for me to bring her back.” Kima looked uncomfortable and anguished at the memory. “But that’s it for the pair of us, thank Bahamut. I lost count with you kids’ insanity. I’m pretty sure four of you died by Raishan alone.”

“That doesn’t count,” Keyleth protested. “Scanlan died twice so really it was only three.”

“You’re arguing semantics with me Kiki?”

“Only-Only the wrong part,” Keyleth trailed off with a sigh.

Beau was still stuck on the goldfish thing. “Wait wait wait. The fuck? Why’d you turn into a fish? Why would you _ever _turn into a fish when flying was an option?”

Keyleth waved her hand nervously. “Oh, it’s not important. Thought I was going to hit water, didn’t, splat. Mess. I’ve grown since then.”

“You’d hope,” Kima chuckled, “given that you live on a mountain plateau and all Keyleth.”

“Yeah, well. I suppose it wouldn’t help morale if the tribe’s leader couldn’t manage a very simple cliff dive. I’ve been doing them since I was a child. Hmmm,” she thought about it. “Better make sure I don’t tell them that. Especially dad.”

The rest of the Nein wandered over, Fjord and Yasha looking slightly more put together, though still hurt. Keyleth gave them some healing magic as well to make up for what Caduceus and Jester didn’t have the energy left to cover. “Hi! I’m Keyleth of the Air Ashari!”

No one besides Beau had ever heard of the druid tribes from Issylra and Tal’Dorei that were responsible for maintaining watch on weak points between the elemental planes. Keyleth quickly devolved into a fairly lively conversation with Caduceus about different kinds of moss and mushrooms, though appeared a bit put out by the though of his ‘dead people tea’. Beau didn’t blame her for that one. She sidled on over to Kima while the rest were distracted by the druid.

“Hey. Thanks for the assist,” she murmured, bumping the halfling. Yasha came to Beau’s side briefly, pressing a kiss to her temple before moving to check on Nott, who was hanging back from the druid.

Kima stared up at Beau, brows raised, arms crossed, silently demanding an answer to a question she hadn’t asked. Beau immediately blushed, scuffing her feet on the ground.

“Uh, yeah,” she muttered. “It’s recent, don’t give me that look. It’s not like _I _can call you and I didn’t want Jester screaming it for the whole fucking world to hear. But – yeah,” Beau shrugged. “That’s a thing. Went for it, paid off.”

Kima gently tugged Beau to bend over. “Proud of you kiddo,” she whispered, going up on tiptoes to put their foreheads together. “You did real good.” A pause. “I’m gonna have to have a talk with Yasha though.”

“_No_!”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beau gets into trouble again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Technical difficulties with the first time this was posted - posting again.

When Jester called for them, she wasn’t her normal, bouncy self. “Um, Allura?” Jester sniffed. “We’re at our house in Rosohna, and we really need your help. And Kima’s. Beau…there’s something wrong with Beau.”

Immediately concerned, Allura hurriedly picked up the mirror. “Jester. What happened? Is Beau – does she need resurrecting?” She was already rifling through her mind on where she might be able to find Pike and Scanlan that time of year. Probably in Westruun, celebrating the summer solstice with Wilhand and Grog.

“N-No. Not yet,” Jester said, her voice wavering. “But please can you come?”

The sound of Jester’s voice was enough to confirm to Allura that something was truly amiss with the monk. And it must be a large something, if neither Jester nor Caduceus had been able to fix it. “I will be along as soon as I can little one,” Allura soothed the young cleric. “I just need to make a stop first to collect someone who might be able to help.”

“Please hurry,” Jester begged before putting the mirror down, presumably to return to Beau’s side.

Allura took a deep breath, preparing herself to go out into Greyskull Keep’s courtyard to find Kima. The halfling always had afternoon sparring with Kynan, something they both enjoyed. It was a daily battle to see if the quicker or the stronger would win the latest bout. Allura wasn’t looking forward to interrupting them.

Despite all her protesting and denials, Kima had quickly grown as attached if not more to Beauregard than all of Vox Machina. Kima loved Vox Machina and was even proud of them sometimes, but Allura knew that Kima saw herself in the young monk, something she never had with their older adventuring kids. Perhaps it was the larger age difference – as much as they always made fun of Vox Machina as their children, they really were only a decade or so younger than them, and Scanlan was older than them all. The Nein, however, truly were kids, most of them still toddlers or early teens when everything with the Chroma Conclave and Vecna took place.

Kima was protective of them all, but she and Beau had developed something special, and Allura was truly dreading having to tell Kima that Beau was now in trouble. Maybe dying, if Jester’s demeanor was anything to go by.

“Kima,” she called when she got outside. “I need to speak with you.”

“Can it wait?” Kima replied, panting and axe raised to block Kynan’s incoming dagger.

Allura shook her head. “It cannot, Darling. Beauregard’s in trouble.”

“Again?” Kima held out her hand for Kynan to halt. “Go take five,” she murmured to him. He walked away gratefully. “What idiotic thing’s she done now?”

A deep sigh told Kima that maybe she wasn’t going to like what she heard next. “Jester was not – clear, but I do not believe this is Beauregard’s fault this time, Kima. Jester sounded like Beau was dying.”

Kima’s brow immediately furrowed. “But – they have two clerics. Couldn’t she and Caduceus heal her? They have restorations, healing, even revivification if it came to the worst.” Her voice cracked, and Allura drew her into a tight embrace.

“Jester seemed like this was different. Something they couldn’t fix. I promised her we would be by soon, but I think perhaps we stop in Westruun and gather Pike? She would know more of strange injuries or illnesses than either of us or Keyleth.”

Kima grumbled a bit at having to see Scanlan, but her worry for Beau and common sense won out. “Yeah. Best go get her too. Kid’ll freak out again when she gets to meet two more of Vox Machina.”

Allura hoped Kima’s positivity wouldn’t be in vain.

* * *

“We were fighting this wizard that Caleb used to know and – and – he _did _something and lightning shot out! And lightning, you know, it’s pretty normal and stuff but this time it was _black_ and ugly looking and Beau tossed Caleb out of the way and it hit her in the chest and now she won’t wake up and she’s having trouble breathing!” Jester rushed out, not stopping for breath herself.

“Did you try healing her?” Kima asked brusquely as she ran a hand over Beau’s chest, attempting her own healing. The black webbing spreading across Beau’s chest didn’t alter, and if anything, Beau’s breathing grew a little worse.

Jester rolled her eyes. “Of _course_ I tried that. I’m the cleric. We both tried that,” she retorted, gesturing between her and Caduceus. “It’s not _working_.”

Pike got up on a chair that Scanlan had tugged over for her before wisely removing himself from the situation. Even he could see that it was no time for his rambunctious demeanor – no matter how curious he was about the new young’uns Allura and Kima had apparently adopted without telling anyone. Though he seemed to recall something Keyleth had said last winter solstice when they had visited… something about Wildemount and a dragon.

Caduceus stepped in with his calm voice as Pike inspected Beau. “Healing has no effect and uh, we tried curse removal. That didn’t do anything. A lesser restoration seemed to help, but only briefly, and then Miss Beau was right back where she was before. Any assistance would be appreciated,” he directed at Pike.

“I have not seen this type of arcane magic use before,” Allura murmured. “Pike?”

Pike grimaced, looking more closely at the webbed streaks. “Uh – I haven’t _seen_ it. But I feel like I’ve heard of it. I just can’t remember what it is.” She looked over at Scanlan, but her husband shook his head. He hadn’t seen it either, in all his years of travel.

“I know what it is,” Kima’s voice trembled with fury.

“You do?” Pike questioned. Jester was looking at the halfling with hope and desperation in her eyes, but didn’t say a word. Just bounced in place.

“It’s a gift of Bane,” Kima answered. Her eyes were full of the same anger in her tone, and she stared at the marks on Beau’s chest with hate. “A wizard did this?” she questioned Caleb, who had been nearest to Beau when it happened.

Caduceus had straightened immediately when he heard the Strife Emperor’s name – the greatest enemy of the Wildmother. Caleb nodded shakily in answer to Kima, eyes not leaving his friend’s body. “J-Ja.” Frumpkin jumped onto the bed and curled up at Beau’s side to purr. “Eodwulf – my old – school mate. B-But he was not a follower of the Betrayer Gods when I knew him.”

“Well, looks like he fucking is now,” Kima muttered. Her voice was harsh and cracking. “Word was you saw this a lot back in the time of the Calamity. Bane’s followers they – he gave them the ability to…_violate_ their innate power. To not only use it for evil purpose, but to make its very energy malevolent as well. The man who looks after Bahamut’s temple in Vasselheim – there are stories he knows of those times that would curdle even Grog’s blood.” Allura moved to stand beside her wife and rested a hand on her shoulder.

Yasha spoke up for the first time. She hadn’t moved from where she was sitting on the other side of the bed, holding Beau’s hand, so still that Kima had almost forgotten she was even there. “Do you know how to fix it?” Her gaze was desperate.

“Maybe. If I’m right, _I _can’t fix it. But Pike – you may be able to. You ever made hallowed ground before?”

“I…have not,” Pike murmured, face turning thoughtful as she considered it. “But that would make sense. Infusing the area with Sarenrae’s power would prevent Bane from keeping his hold on Beauregard.” All of the Nein seemed to relax at the growing confidence in Pike’s soothing voice. “I’m missing some materials for that though.”

“What do you need?” Fjord asked. He had been hanging toward the back of the room with Nott and Caduceus to keep them out of everyone’s way.

“Uh – pretty standard stuff, just a lot of it. Herbs – incense mostly. About a thousand gold’s worth.”

“I have that – the incense, at least.” Caleb disappeared upstairs to dig into the reserves of incense he always kept on hand to be able to summon Frumpkin back whenever he went ‘poof’.

Pike turned to Jester and Yasha. “Now, this spell – it’s meant to deter fiends and celestials, among others. You are both descendants, and I can choose one of you to not be affected by the spell, but the other will be a bit – uncomfortable, I suppose,” she said kindly. “If one of you wants to stay?”

“Exclude Jester,” Yasha spoke up before Jester could say anything. “I can take it. I’m not leaving her.”

“Alright.” Caleb came back with his stockpile of incense and handed it over to Pike without hesitation. “Thank you Caleb.” Pike’s tone with all of the Nein was gentle and just about the only thing keeping them calm at the moment. “Now. This will take me some time.”

“How much are we talking?” Fjord piped up again.

“Twenty-four hours.”

The Nein all spoke up at once, protesting that Beau might not make it that long and that there had to be a quicker way. Kima slammed the broadside of her axe into the wall to shut them up. “Hey! Will you all fucking listen to Pike for a minute?” she ordered. One by one, their mouths shut, though Jester looked mutinous about it. “Thank you.”

“Okay, okay, okay,” Pike murmured to herself. “I know twenty-fours is a long time, and you are all worried about Beau. But you have two clerics who can keep casting restorations, and Kima – you can as well, yes?” Kima nodded resolutely. “You –” she paused, uncertain.

“Caduceus. Caduceus Clay,” the Firbolg spoke up helpfully.

“Caduceus. You said that helped for a bit. If you spread them out, they should be enough to keep her stable until I can complete the ritual and then I should be able to heal her. Assuming Kima was correct – I’m sure you were,” Pike rushed to say.

Jester bit her lip, little fangs poking out. “But what if it isn’t?” she asked.

“Well,” Pike sighed, “then I still complete the ritual, but then I try to bring her back from the dead instead of heal her. Hopefully it doesn’t come to that, but it might. We’ll just – delay that as long as we can, shall we?”

Scanlan spoke up for just the second time. “She’s the most powerful person in the world, she’s got this,” he reassured the Nein.

“Well.” Pike shook her head, fondly exasperated. “No, I’m not,” she disagreed. “But Sarenrae is powerful through me, and I think we have a good chance of this working the way we want it to.”

* * *

Caduceus took the first shift with Pike in the bedroom with Beau, casting the smaller restorative spell every thirty to forty-five minutes, or whenever Beau’s breathing began to roughen. Jester came in next, and last Kima, about eight hours after. Pike remained deep in prayer the entire time, the faintest glow of gold settled around her and on her shoulders as she spoke to her goddess.

Despite their best efforts, Beau had grown slowly worse over the course of the day – their spells just not enough to keep the destructive force at bay in her body. Kima was getting more and more worried that they were going to lose her.

As the twenty-four hour mark neared, Beau actually stirred, her eyes blinking open just a little. “K-Kim-a?” Her voice was hoarse.

“Hey, kiddo.” Kima dropped another restoration into her, hoping to keep Beau awake and talking as long as possible. She brushed sweaty strands of hair behind her ear. “How you feeling?”

“Li’ shit,” Beau mumbled. “Y-Yasha?”

Kima nodded across the bed where Yasha hadn’t moved an inch all day, still hanging on to Beau’s hand. “Other side, kid.”

With effort, Beau managed to turn her head. “Hey.”

Yasha leaned over to press a kiss to her forehead. “Hi, Beau. You just need to hang on a little longer, okay? We’re all – we’re right here.”

Beau just nodded. “Kay.” She looked over at Kima, who was frowning. “Ya’ll acting like – ‘m gonna die. I’m fine. Promise.” She drifted off again.

“Thank you,” Yasha quietly said a few minutes later. “For coming when Jester calls. Not just this time. Beau won’t admit it, but she relies on your advice just as – just as much as Dairon’s. She cares a lot.”

“You’ve known her longer than me. She was real torn up about you when I met her, and as long as you don’t do something to make that pathetic look in her eyes come back, I won’t tear your arms off and eat them like chicken wings. And I fucking love chicken.”

* * *

Finally, just at the time dawn would be breaking the horizon – if the sun ever rose in Rosohna – Pike opened her eyes. A warm sensation filled the room and the rest of the house, giving off a low vibration before settling to stillness once more. Pike breathed in, and let the air go with a smile. Silently, she walked to Beau’s side, resting a hand over the black web snaking now from the monk’s chest, up her shoulders and neck and down her stomach. A few words murmured in Gnomish that sounded like a prayer, and then a bright golden ball of light formed in Pike’s hand to sink into Beau’s chest.

A moment passed where no one dared to breathe.

Then two.

On the third, Beau finally inhaled a clean lungful of air and exhaled without her lungs making the awful crackling sound they had for the last few hours. A few moments later, her eyes opened and she grunted uncomfortably. “How long have I been just laying here like a fucking idiot?” she asked, still a little out of it. “I’m more stiff than I usually am after Dairon beats me to a pulp. Kima?” Beau looked confused for a second before it apparently came back to her. “Oh, shit. I got in trouble again didn’t I?”

Kima chuckled, relief washing through her. “Yeah. You did, kiddo. You’re off the hook this time. Just this once, alright?”

Beau grinned up at her, already looking miles better than she had been. The smile dropped when she saw the stranger next to her, symbol of Sarenrae hanging from her neck. “You – You’re – Are you Pike Trickfoot?” Startled, Pike glanced at Kima before nodding. “Then does that mean –?”

“And on that note.” Kima dragged Pike out of the room, absolutely not ready for Beau to meet Scanlan. That was asking for disaster. Knowing Beau, she would ask him to fastball special her with that dumbass purple hand of his just like he used to do with rock golem Keyleth back in the days they fought dragons. “We’re out of here. Nice seeing you Beau. Don’t do any more dumb shit for the next few days.”

Allura stopped Kima on the way out, forcing her to stay and let Scanlan and Pike formally meet the Nein.

Kima groaned the entire time.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The strain of trying to make the Nein SEE her overwhelms Beau and she seeks help elsewhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have written a one-shot like this before, but with everything in the last 15 or so episodes of Beau's characterization, this seemed appropriate here as well.

Kima was working out with Kynan with his toddler daughter watching on when Jester’s voice sounded in her head. _ “Kima have you heard from Beau? Has she been around? If she has could you please tell me - even if she doesn’t want you to?"_ Kima held up a hand for Kynan to stop the second Jester had started speaking, growing more confused by the second as Jester kept saying words that didn’t make sense in the order they came.

“Beau? No. Why would I have seen her? Isn’t she with you? You’d better message me back Jester. Where is Beauregard?”

Kynan gave the halfling a strange look. She’d spoken of the girl and her band of mercenaries a lot recently, though he’d never met them. It sounded like they got in trouble all the time, much like Vox Machina had. Like he had, once upon a time. He was much happier now, acting as bodyguard to Allura during Council procedures.

Kima waited impatiently for Jester to Send to her again and let her just what the fuck was going on with her kid. While she didn’t have to wait long, she liked the second message even less than the cryptic first.

“_We uh - had to go to Kamordah and - we kinda forgot that’s where she’s from you know - well Nott remembered - but she’s gone now and - _”

Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck. 

“Jester. You better fucking tell me what happened to Beau. What. Did. You guys. _ Do. _” 

“Sup.”

Kima whirled around, coming face to face with the topic of her current conversation. She opened her mouth, whether to continue speaking to Jester or to yell at Beau, she wasn’t sure.

“Don’t - don’t tell ‘em I’m here,” Beau practically begged. “Kima, don’t.”

Lips pursing as she gave the monk a quick once over for injuries, Kima kept her mouth shut for the allotted spell time. “What are you doing here?” she asked once she felt the magic fade from her subconscious. Jester probably didn’t have the ability to Send again that day. It was strenuous. Kima could worm everything she needed from Beau. “The rest of the Nein have no idea? Yasha?”

Beau flinched. “Yash - Yasha does. She told me to come to you. Or gave me permission to leave, I don’t know,” she rambled. “Said that if I was going to run off somewhere, make it somewhere I’d be safe while I figured things out.”

Placing a hand on Beau’s forearm revealed the monk was trembling so much she was almost vibrating in place, clearly massively upset or scared of something. “What’s going on Beauregard?” Kima asked as gently as she could. “What happened?”

“We went to where I was born. Kamordah. It’s a - shitty little town. Mostly a few businesses, a bar, a couple dozen families. And a vineyard. ‘S where I grew up,” Beau said, not making eye contact even as Kynan brought a waterskin over to Kima, who shoved it into her charge’s hands. Beau took a quick drink, some of it spilling out the corners of her mouth as her hands kept shaking. “I - my dad he - we didn’t get along. For a lot of reasons. Most of which probably don’t matter anymore.” 

She nearly dropped the skin, but Kima steadied her hands, settling Beau onto the ground to try and stabilize her. She was just a little taller than Beau that way, so she stayed standing, reaching out to brush a messy strand of hair behind Beau’s ear, even as she startled a bit. “Did he hurt you?” Kima asked, free hand clenched in a tight fist even as she tried to maintain an even tone and not upset Beau further. She’d never seen the monk like this.

Beau made a face. “Not - not the way you mean. Just. Between the fortune teller I was promised to as payment before I was born and the criminal activities I got into pretty young, we’ll just say not a lot of kind words were thrown about the estate while I was a kid.”

Well _ that _ was a bit more than Kima had been expecting, but she could question all that later. “And the Nein? How do they fit into all this?”

“They all - they have their shit. Fjord had a demigod patron that wanted to consume the world that we had to take care of and Caduceus has a familial legacy tied to the Wildmother that makes him some all important paragon for her. Caleb murdered his parents after being brainwashed by his teacher into thinking they were the enemy and Nott was cursed to be a goblin after sacrificing herself to save her husband and son. Jester has a real shady god of her own that I’m not convinced isn’t just some archfey attempting to ascend to godhood through her and Yasha was mind controlled into being a murder drone by a fiend in service to a Betrayer God. Twice.” 

The words poured from Beau like they’d been held in for days, weeks, months - maybe the whole time she’d been travelling with the Nein. “I don’t - I don’t fit into that. I’m just some teen criminal wannabe that turned to the local gang to get back at her dad until I got in enough trouble that he paid an order of monks to make me disappear.”

“Beau.” Kima was having a hard time keeping up, thrown by all the knowledge she’d just been exposed to of just how fucking messed up the kids really were. And how much they’d been hiding about themselves from her and Allura. And what Beau’s father had done…Kima could slice him sideways with her great sword.

“I tried to be what they needed, but I can’t seem to get it _ right_,” Beau plowed on. “Fjord’s got Deuces for all his religious questions now, Nott’s only ever wanted Caleb’s help, Caleb only _ told _me about his parents in the first place because I pushed him for an answer before he was ready to give one. Caduceus hasn’t ever really needed us at all anyway, and Jester and Yasha - I fucked that up too.” One of Beau’s hands came up to rub against the scar on her sternum that no amount of Jester’s healing had been able to heal. A reminder of just how badly she’d failed Yasha.

Kima reached out for Beau’s shoulder, resting it there even when Beau looked like she might try to dodge away from any offered comfort. “Why today? Or last week, or whenever it was that you left?” she asked quietly. “What made that the breaking point for you?”

Beau’s face flattened out so quickly it almost gave Kima whiplash. Any emotion was erased, like it had never been there at all. “They didn’t. Ask. No one, except Yasha, and even she only did it in private. I’ve tried to be better for months. A better friend, ally, a better _ person_. But we got to Kamordah and half of them didn’t even remember that it was my hometown and that I might have people who knew me there.” The only tell Beau gave was her fidgeting with the wraps around her wrists, tearing strings from them one by one. “I told them once I didn’t expect to live past nineteen. Not one of them blinked. Like, yeah, of course I was so fucked up I probably would have been stabbed by some criminal, or drunk myself to death by then. Of course,” she muttered.

She wanted to jump in, but Kima stayed quiet, knowing that this was what Beau had been wanting all along. Someone to _ listen_, and no platitudes. 

“While Yasha was under Obann’s control, he forced her to massacre the monks and students at the Cobalt Soul in Zadash. That place was a prison to me, but those were still people I knew. People I learned with, fought with, learned _ from_. Nobody asked how I was dealing with that, just how Yasha was handling it. And I _ know _ it was traumatic for her - she’s so _ gentle_, and good, and quiet. She didn’t deserve that, but didn’t I deserve something? 

“Or when we were still considered potential enemies by Xhorhas, especially me. Some non-magical human who couldn’t disguise myself, they just let me waltz around. They even made me act like a slave once. It’s always punch this, kick that, Beau needs to smile more, she’s abrasive, she can’t talk to people, keep her in the back so she doesn’t ruin this discussion. I have more schooling than any of them - except Caleb. And he only knows arcane shit.”

Tears were trailing slowly down Beau’s cheeks, and if she’d noticed, Kima was sure Beau would have been trying to hide them, but she was so caught up in the hurts that had piled in her heart until they toppled over that she was oblivious to nearly everything. Kima wasn’t even confident Beau was still aware that Kima was listening. 

“I don’t have a god, or a patron, or a curse, tortured past, or any of that shit. I just have the experience of the ways one human can completely fuck up another from the start. Terrible dads are a dime a dozen - everyone knows one. But he fucked _ me _ up. It happened to _ me_. And I didn’t deserve that. I didn’t,” Beau whispered.

Kima almost didn’t hear the last part it was spoken so quietly. Like Beau didn’t quite believe what she was saying. She reached out to carefully wipe away the tears that were still running down Beau’s face, soothing Beau when she flinched away. “I’ve got you,” Kima murmured, wrapping a hand around Beau’s head to pull her into her shoulder. “I’ve got you.” She let the girl cry for a few minutes, the tears running their course naturally until Beau slumped. 

They eventually leaned back to reassess, and Beau scrubbed her face with her wraps haphazardly, not really making anything better. “Sorry. You didn’t need all that.”

“Hush,” Kima said immediately. “You’ve been holding that back a long time, it was bound to explode eventually. Thank you for getting to me first. For listening to Yasha and not going off on your own.”

“Didn’t want her to worry,” Beau muttered, looking down.

After all that, all the frustration and sadness Beau rightly held toward her friends, she still kept their well-being first. Kima shook her head at the kindness of her girl that the Nein seemed to have taken advantage of. “Well, I’ve got you now, and we’ll have Allura send a message to Yasha alone if you want her to do that. Let her know you got here okay, huh? And the rest - we’ll work that out. You and me. I heard you, Beauregard.”

Beau met Kima’s gaze for the first time since she’d arrived, and the relief and hope in them made Kima want to melt. 

_ This kid_ .

“I heard you,” Kima said one more time to reassure Beau.

Arms flung themselves around her waist, Beau not even seeming to care about the awkwardness of hugging a person while sitting on the ground. “Thank you.” Her voice came out muffled, buried in Kima’s side.

“It’s you and me, kiddo. I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I live in hope that one day - ONE day - the Nein will ask Beau a fucking question about her backstory and actually CARE about her response. I love them, but they are dropping the ball with their monk right now and more and more, I can see Beau leaving.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of the previous chapter. I know I said Kima would be on the warpath, but taking care of Beau took longer than expected. Plus side, there's another chapter of this coming!

Beauregard had been staying with Kima and Allura for a month in their warded house a little ways out from Emon - Allura having learned her lesson after her tower was destroyed twice in as many years. Now she teleported in for the twice weekly Council meetings, and she and Kima liked the quiet of their small home. Kima had refused to give Scanlan access to their home for a good decade after Vox Machina’s adventuring days together concluded, but eventually conceded at Allura and Pike’s behest that he had truly and finally grown up a little. He was allowed to visit under warning that if he ever tried any mind magics on her, Kima reserved the right to behead him.

He believed the threat.

It was the most peaceful place Beau had ever stayed. Nothing was expected of her, nobody asked her to do anything, and if it had been any other time, Beau would have gone out of her skin with boredom. Instead, she spent most of her days attempting to meditate and keep a calm mind in between bouts of anxiety and guilt of leaving her friends behind. 

If they got hurt or killed when she wasn’t there to protect them, Beau would never forgive herself. But she also couldn’t bring herself to go back to them.

Oddly, Kynan had been helpful in that regard, relating his experiences with Vox Machina, and how he’d felt so guilty for years after nearly killing Keyleth. Despite how much he’d looked up to them and wanted to be with them, it grew into a hatred far too unhealthy to be sustainable.

Scanlan had also dropped by last week when he heard she was visiting, taking her to Westruun to hang out with him, Pike, and Grog for a long weekend. Kima had threatened more bodily harm if anything happened to Beau while she was gone, but Allura convinced her to allow the field trip. 

Spending time with Grog Strongjaw had been an - experience. The first thing he did when he came over was chest bump her so hard Beau was rammed into a wall, then immediately challenged her to a spar. Pike’s protests had been overruled except for her demand they take it outside the house so Wilhand and his great-great grandchildren weren’t woken from their afternoon nap. 

Grog was by far the more experienced fighter, but for what she lacked in time spent training, Beau made up for in sheer speed, and spent most of the duel running circles around the goliath and trying to punch him with lightning. He did eventually knock her flat, but Pike brought her back up a second later and all Beau felt was the adrenaline you got from a _ good _ fight. 

“Nice _ going _ little bit!” Grog bellowed when Beau was conscious again, reaching down for a fist bump where she was still panting on the ground and trying to keep her eyes from crossing. “You’ve got them like, magic fists, like Earthbreaker Groon.”

“The who now? Earthbreaker? Is that another name for one of the Betrayer Gods? I don’t want to know about that we’ve met too many of those.” Beau did not need to deal with more gods emerging from the woodwork for however long she was on Tal’dorei. It was bad enough on Wildemount.

Pike stepped in when Grog got caught up trying to figure out who had betrayed gods recently, muttering to himself. “Groon is the leader of the temple to Kord in Vasselheim on Issylra.”

“Where Kima used to live? Wait - isn’t Kord the Stormlord?”

“Exactly. And yes, I believe that is another title of his.”

Beau’s animated face fell just a bit. “Yasha follows the Stormlord.” What if he had called for Yasha’s aid someplace else while she was gone? Beau shouldn’t have left. There would be no one there to be the front lines. To be the punching bag. That was _ her _ job. Her job to keep them safe and make sure there was someone to listen and that nobody felt they weren’t being paid attention to, her _ job_...

A small hand rested on her shoulder, jerking her out of her spiralling thoughts. “Hey Beau? Beau, stay with me. Here in Westruun Beau, come on.” Her head snapped up and looked directly into Pike’s kind eyes, dead level in height. “There we go. Okay. Do you want to go back to Kima’s?”

She’d had a good time with Grog and the whole brood of Trickfoots, but Beau _ really _ wanted to go back. She nodded, feeling guilt rise in her gut about that too. 

“Hey. You can come back - _ anytime,_ Beau,” Pike promised. “Whenever you want. But if you need Kima - that’s okay too, you know?”

“Yeah?”

“Of course. Come on - I’ll take you back.”

\--

“Whatcha thinking about kiddo?” Kima’s voice called Beau’s attention back to the present from her meditations. 

Beau looked down from the tree branch she had kind of made her go to meditating spot. There was an owl nest burrowed into the trunk a few feet above her head when she sat there, and she sometimes brought them some bacon or chicken leftovers. The mother didn’t seem to mind her presence - unlike Thaddeus. The owlets were cute, and they’re little reptile-like shrieks somehow made it easier to meditate. “What I’m always thinking about Kima,” Beau finally said with a sigh.

Kima parked herself at the base of the tree, dropping her slightly aching bones - she may not be feeling all her years yet but she definitely was feeling some of them - to the ground. The same as she had done every afternoon when she came by to pry Beau from her guilt. So far, it was slow going. “And what have we told you about that?”

“That I need to focus on my own needs and well-being and shit, and not worry about_ them _ until I’m better,” Beau recited in a drawl. “That if there’s a time that I want to go back to them, if my head isn’t fucking screwed on straight I’ll just be hurting everyone. Including myself.”

“Well,” Kima chuckled, “I don’t think Allura and I included the curse words. Maybe I did. I _ know _ Allura’s lectures don’t come with the profanity package. But she isn’t wrong Beau.”

Beau swung off the branch, landing in a three point pose and leaning back to sit down all the way. “It doesn’t feel like that. I just - I don’t know.” She groaned loudly, head tilted back toward the canopy.

“Beau. Focus, and tell me. If you had stayed, would you have acted recklessly?”

“Define reckless.”

Kima gave her a look that said ‘Stop being a little fucker’. “Would you be throwing yourself around every fight like there’s nothing to lose and you’re expendable? Would you still be stepping into portals - not on a dare - but because you felt like you would be the least missed if you were dead? Would you still be deflecting any kind of possible care I try to show you, the way you are now, because for some reason you think you need to earn it and haven’t?”

Beau fidgeted nervously with her wrist wraps. Everything Kima was saying were all things she’d said with some variation over the last four weeks, and they were starting to sink in. As much as Beau wished they wouldn’t. “That’s just me,” she said for the thousandth time. “That’s who _ I _am. Who I decided to be.”

“Were you given any other choice kiddo?”

“I -” Beau ducked her head, trying to escape Kima’s intent gaze. “I just - they -” Her breaths came quicker and her hands instinctively clenched to ward off an unseen enemy. “That’s the only way they noticed.” The words burst from her, unbidden. “The only time they _ saw _ me - when I was unconscious or almost dying for them. The rest of the time - I try to be there for them, help them with what’s going on and how they feel, but it’s like a one way mirror. Nothing comes back. It’s stupid,” she muttered. “It shouldn’t matter. I should just be Beauregard of the Cobalt Soul - that’s what Dairon always used to instruct me to do, before they figured out I was too stubborn to listen. Don’t make attachments, don’t get too close. Don’t be Beauregard Lionett. Don’t _ care._”

She buried her face in her hands, and Kima hauled herself to her feet to go squat in front of her charge, touching foreheads until Beau had gathered herself a bit. Then Kima chucked her under the chin with one finger and forced Beau to meet her eyes. “I care. I have chosen - very specifically, deliberately, on purpose - to care about you Beauregard. Not for what you’ve accomplished, or what use you are to me. You are a _ good. kid_. Who despite everything, is doing the best she can to help this world be better.”

“But I fuck up _ all _the time.”

Kima shook her head. “You think any of us - me, Allie, your friends - you think any of us have attained perfection? Hells, Allie and I are partially responsible for the vengeful rampage of a group of dragons that caused the destruction of most of the continent because we angered their leader. Do you think I felt back then that I was even marginally bigger than an inch tall? I wanted to take Allie and run. Far away. Where Thordak would never be able to find us.”

Beau’s head tilted in confusion, mulling over KIma’s words. “Why didn’t you?”

“Because even if it was the hardest thing I’d ever done, staying to fight was the right thing. When the Iron Shepherds took your friends, did you run away?”

“No.”

And when Obann controlled Yasha to do his bidding, did you stop looking for a way to free her?”

“No.”

“No you didn’t. You came and found us. Whenever one of your friends was having a hard time and needed somebody, did you ignore it or did you try to help?”

“I - I talked to them.”

Kima nodded, smiling just a bit. “Exactly, kiddo.”

“But,” Beau wasn’t quite ready to let it go. “But because we didn’t run from the Shepherds, Molly died. And because it took so long for us to save Yasha, half my order in Zadash died. And no matter how much I try to figure things out with the Nein, none of it seems to make any difference!”

“Beauregard, listen to me. Just because you fail, doesn’t mean the choice you made was wrong. You could make every right decision and still not get the outcome you hope for. That’s just life, and that _ isn’t your fault_,” Kima emphasized. 

Beau was looking at her like Kima just might hold all the answers she was desperately looking for. It was a weight Kima hadn’t been expecting - the knowledge that someone relied on her so heavily. But it was a weight she was glad to carry, as long as it was Beau. 

\--

“And how is our little one?” Allura asked that night, after Kima had coaxed Beau inside with the promise of fresh, non-pocket bacon. Beau had disappeared into the forest again pretty quickly after, but saw her own way back to bed without Kima having to drag her in.

Kima let out a long sigh. “Better. She finally started to listen today. Still a ways to go before I’d feel comfortable letting her loose onto the world again, but I think she might be almost ready for something more.”

“You think bringing Yasha here would be of some benefit?”

“Maybe,” Kima said with a shrug. “She does seem to be the only one Beau isn’t in dire turmoil over whenever they come up in conversation.” The last bit came out as an almost growl.

Allura chuckled lightly. “And why do I think you’ll want to accompany me if I travel over to fetch her?”

“Uh, because I’m going to give those little pricks a good asskicking?”

“I haven’t heard of you being this defensive since Vord tried to send another paladin in your place to fight against the Chroma Conclave.” It was said with an adoring little smile as Allura bent over to kiss the top of Kima’s head.

Kima grunted through the affection. “It’s just - she puts up this angry, slighted front to the world, and the whole world fell for it. Even the ones closest to her. It feels like I’m the only one that even _ tried _ to see if there was maybe something else going on under the facade. Everyone took her at face value, but I _ know _ Beauregard has so much more to offer. And even besides that, she deserves fucking better than what she was given. I just have to get her past thinking she has to earn it. Nobody should think they have to _ earn _love and care and compassion, but someone damn well managed to make Beau believe it.”

“Well, I have faith in you Kima. Beauregard trusts you, or she wouldn’t have made her way here.”

“Give me another week with her. If Beau’s ready, you can message Jester to confirm where in the world they are, and we’ll go fetch Yasha. Assuming that’s what Beau wants. And I’ll give the rest a piece of my mind while you bring Yasha here and come pick me up after. Might get gory.”

The threat brought another bit of laughter from Allura. “Perhaps leave them whole, my love. No matter their squabbles, I do believe Beau would like friends to go back to eventually.”

“No promises,” Kima growled. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end of this little arc. Kima finally gets to yell at someone. And to clarify beforehand, I love all of the Nein, but Kima loves Beau. So - she's yelling.

“Okay everyone listen the fuck up,” Kima announced as she marched into the Xhorhas home in front of Allura, drawing the attention of all of the Nein that were milling downstairs. Nott was up on the landing, legs swinging in the air, Jester and Caduceus were in the kitchen. Caleb came wandering out of the library at the noise. Fjord was around the corner, and Yasha looked up from where she was sharpening one of her swords at the table, looking relieved to see Allura and Kima though concerned to not find Beau with them. “_Y__ou _are all in my bad books right now, so you will all be paying attention for the next little bit. Except you Yasha, you go with Allura and she’ll take you where I think you want to be.”

Yasha’s whole body perked up briefly before she relaxed and nodded. She didn’t even bother to gather up anything before she followed Allura back out the door. “I’m sorry, what is this all about then?” Fjord asked, confused but still polite.

Before, that might have eased Kima. Now it just rubbed her the wrong way. “We’re gonna have a chat. The six of us. If I like what I hear, then maybe - _ maybe _\- I’ll have some good news for you.”

“By - by all means,” Caleb murmured.

“ Let’s start with some easy ice breakers then. How old is Beau?”

A pause as everyone adjusted to the unexpected topic change. “Um, she said twenty-four, once,” Jester replied hesitantly.

“Ja but - in the Happy Fun Ball she said twenty-six,” Caleb reminded her.

“Wrong. How many siblings does Beau have?”

“She never talked about any,” Nott said.

Fjord grimaced as Kima looked at him expectantly. “She has a baby brother. I don’t know how old.”

The rest of the Nein exclaimed at that, wondering why they had never been told, wanted to know his name, which Fjord also admitted to not knowing. Kima spoke again before they careened too far off her point. “How did Beau end up with the Cobalt Soul?”

There were some shrugs, and Nott looked like she was trying to remember something. “I asked her once - in Hupperdook. I don’t really remember what she said though I was _ really _drunk.”

“Anyone?” No one else was forthcoming. “Alright. Here’s an easy one. What scares Beau the most?” 

“Dying?”

“Demons?”

“Her dad?”

“No. What was Beau the most proud of?”

The Nein stopped trying to guess. 

Kima nodded sternly, harsh gaze landing on each of them. “Yeah. That’s about what I thought. Well, let me get rid of some of the mystery on the friend who’s been travelling with you for over a _ year _. She’s twenty-two. She has a little brother named TJ who she’s never met because her father paid the Cobalt Soul to kidnap her from home when she was seventeen. What she’s most scared of? Beau’s afraid of failing enough or being too much of an asshole that she ends up driving you all away. And her proudest moment was when you, Fjord, made her first mate on whatever ship it was you commandeered. Clear things up for you?”

Jester looked torn between saying something or bursting into tears. Caleb and Fjord looked ashamed, Caduceus thoughtful. Kima couldn’t get a read on Nott, but she wasn’t too impressed with the goblin.

“These are things _ I _ shouldn’t have had to tell you. Some are facts she’s already offered up on her own that none of you paid attention to, others she’s lied about. And some she kept to herself because no one ever bothered to check in with her and see how she was handling everything,” Kima spat. “Beau never had friends, before she met you. She didn’t know anything about being a friend, but she damn well tried her best, didn’t she? She’d never been trusted, given responsibility, or been allowed to just be herself - until she met all of you. And even when you kept hitting her with snippy remarks or judgmental corrections on behaviors she never learned about, she kept coming back. Does that - _ tell you _ \- maybe the kind of person she is?”

“We - we didn’t know,” Caleb murmured the poor excuse.

“Where is she?” Jester sniffed.

“Safe in mine and Allie’s home. Don’t bother scrying for it or using anything else to look in on Beau; it’s warded. Yasha is the only one who ever bothered trying to get to know her, so Allie is taking her to visit Beau for however long Beau wants her around. Given they’re your two greatest lines of defense, I would suggest the rest of you stay put for the time being.” Kima gave them a look that made sure they knew that she personally didn’t really care at the moment what happened to them. “And I’ll be working to undo the damage that her father, the Cobalt Soul, and all of you have done. It’s a miracle it’s not too late.”

The Nein _ all _ flinched at that. The one thing about Beau they knew for certain was how much Beau and her father didn’t get along. To be compared to him was a harsh reality check.

“Beau will be back when she’s ready because, despite everything, she loves all of you,” Kima scoffed. “If any of you were hurt or killed while she wasn’t around, the guilt might just kill her. So consider that a wake up call as well. If Beauregard ends up on my doorstep ever again like the did two months ago, I will make sure you never see her again. All of Vox Machina have grown fond of the kid too, and you can take that as a warning. Do I make myself clear?”

As if planned, Allura walked in once more, ready to take Kima home. Kima gave them all one more disdainful glare, before following Allura out and to an alley where her wife could make in inconspicuous circle to take them back to Tal’dorei.

* * *

Beau was wrapped in Yasha’s arms when the pair returned, Yasha murmuring into Beau’s hair while holding her a few inches off the ground. When Kima approached, she could make out Yasha finishing up what sounded like a miniature report on the Nein and everything that Beau had missed while she was gone. Beau wriggled free when she caught sight of Kima. “What happened?” she asked nervously.

“I gave them something to think about,” Kima caged. “You two take your time.” She stalked outside, wanting to work some of her anger out on Kynan for a while. He was always up for a fight.

It seemed that Beau had other ideas though, as she followed Kima out and posted up, fists raised. “Come on,” she urged when Kima hesitated. “If I can take Grog, I can take you.”

Kima chuckled, letting some of her anger go. “From what I heard, you got you _ ass _handed to you by the lug.”

“But it took him like, six minutes,” Beau whined, shaking her fists just a little bit like a toddler. “Hit me Kima. I dare you.”

“Oh,” Allura sighed as Kima charged at Beau with her sword up. 

“Is that - bad?” Yasha asked, pointing. “Sh-should we stop it?”

Allura just shook her head, looking exasperated but fond. “No. Let the children play - Kima won’t hurt her; that’s a dull blade. It’s just - Kima’s been trying to get Beau to spar with her, maybe get some of her confidence back - since she arrived. Except for a little bout with Grog, Beau’s just kind of wandered off when the subject came up. This is the first time she’s initiated.”

Yasha took that in, nodding as watched Beau and Kima tangle. Beau had seemingly grabbed the hilt of Kima’s sword and was attempting to - pull - it from her grip? Or maybe hit her in the head with it. Yasha couldn’t really tell. But Beau was laughing even as Kima shoved her to the dirt, and that was a sound Yasha hadn’t heard in months. Wasn’t a sound she’d heard very often at all - at least not a truthfully happy one. Usually Beau let out sneers or more derisive noises she pretended were laughs. 

“She’s happy here. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen her happy before. Excited, relieved, high on adrenaline. But not this. We should have tried harder,” Yasha murmured. “I should have tried harder.”

“You were invited here _ because _you tried to do your best by Beauregard, which is all Kima - and thus I - want for her. Beau doesn’t need someone to hold her hand and tell her everything is going to be alright. She just needs people behind her that will support her when she struggles and understand the way her mind works. Who will encourage what is best for her. You did that, Yasha. You were the one to suggest she come here and heal with people who could help.” 

Allura looked out the doorway to the unlikely pair again, where Beau seemed to be practicing escaping submission holds that Kima placed on her. The smiles were wide on both of their faces. “Children - young people - were never in the plans for us. Never enough time, and Kima in particular never really had any interest in child rearing. Nor did I, if I’m being honest. But Beauregard...she brings something out of Kima. They have - I believe - exactly what the other needed. Beau gives Kima a purpose beyond serving Bahamut and loving me, and Kima gives Beauregard someone to look up to with no expectations. No judgement. Kima loves with everything she has, and I think Beau is the same. She’s just been waiting to be given the opportunity to show it.”

“You think she’ll go back?” Yasha asked. “I don’t want - I don’t want to pressure her, or ask before she is ready. Just - what do you think?”

The wizard was quick to assure Yasha. “She will return to you. Soon, I think. She’s spoken of it already - how she misses everyone. Beau holds a lot of forgiveness in her heart, and I feel that perhaps your compatriots have finally learned the value of her presence beyond just their emotional punching bag.” For the first time, Allura’s eyes darkened at the thought of Beau’s state when she’d arrived on their doorstep nearly nine weeks ago. “I don’t think they will make the same mistake again. But if they do, Kima will not be so forgiving.”

“Neither will I,” Yasha murmured.

* * *

“You’re _ sure _ you’re ready?” Kima asked for probably the thousandth time, if the way Beau’s eyes rolled to the back of her skull were any indication.

To Beau’s credit, she then carefully thought over her answer since she was actually nervous to be leaving Kima after two and a half months with her and Allura. “Yeah. I can’t be dependent on you guys for the rest of my life. That’s not to say I don’t appreciate how much you’ve done for me - I do you know I do,” she quickly amended. “It’s just...I’ve gotta learn how to stand on my own again, you know? And also I haven’t had a good fight in months and I miss that,” she added quickly to hide the vulnerability.

Kima pulled her aside from where Allura was waiting to send them to Xhorhas. “Hey. I will always be there to keep you steady if you need me. And I’m a halfling, so I mean always. I’ve got about another hundred years left in me so you are quite literally stuck with me until we’re old, cranky ladies. Got it?” That made Beau crack a grin for the first time all day, breaking through her apprehensive facade. “There you are,” Kima said gently, tugging Beau down to knock her forehead against her temple affectionately. 

Beau got down on a knee, foregoing a hug to instead just lean into the paladin’s stalwart strength. Kima’s arms wrapped around her and the worry seeped away just a little bit. “Thanks, Kima,” she murmured into the soft cotton of her shirt. “I’ll uh - I - thank you,” she finally repeated. 

“You just do me a favor and remember something. You are Beauregard Lionett, and nobody can take that from you,” Kima said in a firm tone, looking Beau dead in the eyes. Beau nodded, but Kima kept talking. “Caring is a choice we all make every day. Don’t accept being told you have to earn it, okay? You deserve it Beauregard. You’re the best kid I’ve ever met.”

Beau scoffed. “You fought with fucking Vox Machina,” she denied.

“I did. I’ve fought beside you as well. And I’ll tell you something Beau - besides Allura, you’re my favorite person in this world.”

That made Beau freeze in a position halfway to standing at her full height. She dropped heavily back to the ground, lacking all of her usual monk grace. “Yeah?” she asked, voice cracking just the slightest bit and not daring to make eye contact just in case she’d heard wrong. 

Kima chuckled. “Without a doubt kiddo. I’m proud of everything you are, and how hard you try. Whenever you need me, I’ll be right here.”

“Oh,” Beau murmured, dazed and completely overwhelmed. “Okay.” But when she looked back up at Kima, her eyes were bright. Beau nodded, accepting Kima’s words with no more protest. “Okay.”

“Go get ‘em kiddo. You’ll do great.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure the show will give me more material I want to throw Kima into, but if there's some scenario you guys are interested in, I'm open to hearing it!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Random idea from reading some of your guys' old comments and having too much time on my hands currently. Enjoy this relatively angst free Beau for once.

“Beau!” 

Several of the Nein were shouting her name, but Beau no more could have answered them than she could stop Uk’otoa’s warlock from slicing into her chest with the blade that used to belong to Fjord, sending her careening into the glowing circle he had conjured moments earlier. A swooping sensation filled her stomach, and Beau crashed into hard, cold dirt as everything went silent around her. 

“Fuck,” she groaned when she got her breath back. Everything hurt. The wound on her chest was bleeding freely, and she didn’t really have anything to even bind it with. What she wouldn’t give for Yasha’s healing hands right about now. Beau levered herself to her feet, moaning when the sliced skin tugged and ached and bled more. She untied her sash and wrapped it around her midsection as best she could, covering the worst of it. Only then did Beau get a glimpse of her surroundings.

She was in a forest. And it was fucking _cold _ . There was still snow on the ground in the shadows of trees even though it was the beginning of the summer months. Beau shivered and wrapped her hands around her arms, wishing she’d worn something with sleeves that morning. Or _owned _something with sleeves.

Where was she? Was she on another plane? Didn’t feel like another plane - though Beau hadn’t ever been to a different plane so really what did she know? In the brief moment before being shoved through the portal, Beau thought she’d recognized the symbols for the spell to shift planes, but as far as she knew it could just be used as a regular teleportation if you wanted to waste the spell like that. 

She probably shouldn’t be criticizing the warlock’s use of his spells, since clearly it had removed her from the fight very neatly. Just when she was getting warmed up too. Beau growled in frustration. 

“Hello?” she called out, not really hoping for a reply. “Yasha? Jes?” 

Nothing. To be expected.

Beau threw her head back and groaned dramatically before she picked a direction at random to start walking. Nothing was going to get solved by staying in one place, and she’d probably bleed out if she didn’t find help in a few hours. She kept an eye out as she walked, looking for anything that might be the slightest bit familiar. 

A snapping sound had Beau freezing in place an hour later. She was getting a bit tired - her sash long since soaked through with blood - but she knew she’d heard something not natural. It had come from her left. Beau quickly hid behind the nearest tree. If she was somewhere the warlock had friends, she’d be dead in a minute. Maybe she could take a couple down before they got her.

“I heard it too,” a quiet murmur, almost soundless. Silence for a long moment, then the voice spoke louder. “There’s no point in hiding. I know you’re there, and hiding just makes me think you’re up to something and that I might have to shoot you.”

Okay. A bow - she could handle that. At least for a minute. Probably.

Steeling herself, Beau swung out from behind her hiding spot and clapped her hands together, sending a bolt of lighting arcing out in the direction of the voice. 

Well that didn’t work very well. One bolt glanced off her target, but the rest went way wide, and now Beau was a sitting duck. The first arrow came spinning towards her almost before Beau could get her feet set. She caught it just before it could dig into her side and she dropped it immediately, sensing a second. Beau caught that one too, this time headed for her neck. 

Beau was gearing up for another round of lightning when something massively heavy bowled into her back. She careened into the tree she’d been hiding behind, unable to contain her yelp as the wound on her chest opened more. She staggered and brought a hand up to it, trying to stem the flow of blood and keep an eye on the bear that had appeared out of fucking _ nowhere _.

Surprisingly, more arrows didn’t come flying in to turn her into a pincushion, and the bear didn’t pounce either, merely growled and glared. 

“You’re injured,” her attacker said mildly.

Beau chanced looking away from the bear. Still a good twenty feet away, bow raised, an older woman was appraising her. “Yeah, no fucking shit,” Beau muttered, wincing as she pressed a little too hard on the deepest part of the laceration. “Are you going to have your pet eat me or can I go?”

“Neither. Not until I know what someone of your ability is doing on my and my husband’s land darling.”

Beau scoffed. “Believe me. I wouldn’t be here if I had a choice in the matter. Wherever here is. I’m going to guess this is still Exandria though, unless you’re a fey with a bear companion. Go me.”

“Were you expecting somewhere else?” The bow had lowered slightly, as if the woman no longer considered Beau as much of a threat. She probably wasn’t, Beau thought, chagrined. At least not in much of a state to do anything right then.

“When you get shoved through a plane shift portal unwillingly, you kind of expect to end up on a different plane, yeah,” Beau snapped. She really probably shouldn’t be trying to piss off the person with a _ bear _ at her command, but Beau wasn’t in a good mood. “Kima’s gonna fucking kill me,” she sighed. She’d _ promised _to be more careful.

The woman startled and the bow dropped all the way. “Kima? Kima of Vord?”

Beau’s head shot up. “You know her?”

A smile lightened up the woman’s features as she relaxed the string of her bow, the bear in front of Beau moving to sit as he felt his owner calm. “Kima is one of my dearest friends.”

No way. Maybe she _ wouldn’t _die today. “Sweet,” she coughed. “You can tell her this totally wasn’t my fault when I collapse in a minute then.” Things were going a bit dim in the corners of her vision. 

“Oh, no you don’t, darling.” A hand was pressed against her collarbone seconds later and a warm rush of healing swept into her. “Better?”

“Yeah,” Beau gasped, straightening slightly. “Yeah. Thanks. Who are you?”

“Vex’ahlia of Whitestone. This is Trinket,” she nodded at her bear, who whuffed.

Wait. “_Whitestone _? I’m back on Tal’dorei?” 

“You’ve been here.”

“Few months ago. I stayed with Kima and Allura for a while.”

Realization crossed Vex’ahlia’s face. “Ah. You’re Kima’s monk protege. Beauregard, right? She told me and Percival all about you.”

Only when she mentioned her husband did the woman’s name fully register with Beau. “You’re Vex. Of Vox Machina. And Percy. I’ve read about all of you.” Shit, she was hot. Why was every woman on Tal’dorei so good looking?

Vex chuckled and clapped Beau on shoulder. “I certainly am. And flattered. From the way Kima spoke of you, I should be just as honored to meet you.”

Beau blushed and stared at her feet as Vex began leading her out of the forest. “She likes to talk me up,” she muttered, embarrassed. “Seems to think I need the confidence boost. I’m not all that.”

“Well you certainly caught my arrows with a certain amount of ease - that’s no simple thing.”

“Oh, yeah.” Beau pulled the arrows out of her belt and handed them over. “Usually I keep these when I catch them, but here.”

“Thank you darling.” Vex led Beau the rest of the way out of the forest, taking her up a winding path and into a foreboding looking castle while she told Beau the tale of winning Percy’s childhood home back from vampires and zombies. “Percival!” she said into her - earring? - when they reached the foyer. “Would you come up here please? We have a guest.”

A minute later a middle aged human came up the stairs. “If it’s Keyleth, dear, she _ knows _she can just come down to my workshop. I always welcome her company.” He was fiddling with some metal contraption even as he kissed Vex’s cheek in greeting.

“It’s not Keyleth, Percy. This is Beauregard. Kima’s Beauregard?” Vex reminded him when Percy just looked a little blank.

Beau blushed again when Vex referred to her as Kima’s even as a warm feeling rushed through her. She liked that - the affirmation that she belonged. 

“Oh, of course! Beauregard of the Cobalt Soul,” Percy recalled. “You’ve got some brains on you, I hear. Well maybe you can take a look at this then - it’s giving me all manner of fits.” He pushed the little metal device into her hands. “By the by, what are you doing here?”

“Got teleported,” Beau muttered, already engrossed with trying to figure out what she was holding.

“I thought perhaps we could get Roland to send a message to Allura,” Vex suggested. “She and Kima can get Beau back where she belongs easily enough.”

Beau was busy spinning a little screw on what looked like a handle - a twist at the other end, and out popped a small blade. “Nice,” she said with a smug grin. “Here.”

Percy took it back, flabbergasted. “How did you do that so quickly? Remarkable. Some kind of magical essence to it.” He muttered to himself until Vex elbowed him in the ribs. “Yes dear?”

“Roland, darling?”

“Oh. Right. Be right back. And Beauregard? Here. You figured it out, you hang onto it. I only bought it as a curiosity to solve.” He tossed the knife back to Beau. 

She caught it and carefully pushed the blade back into the handle, hearing a click as it locked into place once more. “Thanks man. He’s cool,” she said to Vex once Percy was gone.

Vex chuckled. “Well I certainly think he’s wonderful. I married him, after all. But let’s get you cleaned up, hmm?”

Beau glanced down at her bloodstained shirt and jacket. “Kima’s gonna yell at me,” she groaned. “I really made a mess of things.”

“Kima might yell simply because she likes yelling,” Vex agreed somewhat. “But the way I have heard her speak of you, she will be mostly relieved to see you safe and sound.” She led Beau into a room and handed over some spare clothes that were warmer than her sleeveless jacket and more appropriate for mountain living. “Get into those, and we’ll see if Kima has rushed over by the time you’re done.” With a wink, Vex saw herself out.

Beau shook herself out of a bit of a daze and hurried to get dressed. Her wound was mostly healed thanks to Vex, though a shallow groove remained carved into her skin that was still red and stinging. Infinitely better than it had been though. 

She was just finishing up re-wrapping her chest when the door slammed open. “Beau!” She was tugged down by a frantic Kima into strong arms. 

Beau instantly relaxed into the place she felt safest. “Hey, Kima,” she sighed.

“Percy said you were hurt are you alright what are you doing here you little cretin? I thought you were done giving me heart attacks.” The words were hard to keep up with they spilled out so fast.

“Not on your life,” Beau chuckled. “I’m just getting started. And I got teleported here by a pissed off warlock, although I think he was hoping to send me somewhere less welcoming. Guess I’m just stupid lucky sometimes.”

Kima pressed their foreheads together and took a deep breath, calming herself down. “Where are you hurt?” she asked, starting with something she could fix. “And don’t even think about brushing me off kiddo, I already know you’re lying.”

Beau huffed and pulled up the borrowed shirt so Kima could see the gash running a good ten inches down her torso. “Vex already fixed it up some, so it’s a lot better,” she admitted. 

A calloused hand pressed against her stomach and Beau sighed in relief as the rest of the aching disappeared. “Where are the others?” Kima murmured. 

She’d been trying not to think about that. “I was the only one that got shoved through. Fjord and Caleb were both down when I - left - and I haven’t heard anything from Jester,” she fretted. “They might all be dead. Or captured.”

“Or - Jester used up all of her spells for the day and you’ll hear from her in the morning,” Kima reassured her. “Don’t give up on them so easily. They’re treating you right?” She got stern quickly with the memory of the last time Beau had ‘visited’.

Beau nodded. “It was awkward for a bit, but things’ve been good. I would have sent you an update, but that would have meant Jester having to give a report on her own and the others’ behavior to you, and that’s just weird for everyone involved.”

Kima cuffed Beau on the back of the head gently. “Don’t get sassy,” she warned before pressing a quick kiss to Beau’s forehead and helping the monk to her feet. “So you met Vex and Percy.”

“You didn’t tell me you’d been talking to the rest of Vox Machina about me. What other surprises do I have to look forward to?” Beau pouted. “Also - the meeting could have gone a little bit better. I tried to shoot Vex with lightning and then she nearly skewered me with two arrows and her fucking _ bear _ almost _ ate _ me. It was a trip.”

Kima laughed as she thought about what kind of stalemate the pair would still be in if Vex just kept shooting arrows for Beau to catch and sling back. A little too even of a match. “Well at least she didn’t knock you out like Grog. I had to yell at him about that one after you left and he almost cried.”

“Gods, you’re so mean Kima,” Beau teased, then burst into laughter when Kima shoved her over and back onto the ground. 

“I will absolutely hang you upside down in a well,” Kima threatened with no real bite to her tone. “Just as soon as I find one. Let’s get you back to your friends and Yasha. Gods know you’re being annoying right now.”

Beau threw her arms around Kima before she could leave. “Thanks for coming to get me again,” she murmured into her shoulder, voice sober.

Kima patted the back of her head. “Always kiddo.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been requested several times - hope it lives up to those requests!

Kima wasn’t one to invade peoples’ privacy. When the letters between her and Allura petered out all those years ago, she didn’t go to the wizard demanding answers. Kima was confrontational, but she tried to be kind to the people she loved.

Except Vox Machina. Those fuckers deserved all the berating she could give, no matter how much she loved them.

The point was, she hadn’t gone to the Cobalt Soul in Zadash for the purpose of finding this Dairon Beau had spoken of more than once and – speaking with them. Allura had been working with Yussa on a project, and no library on Wildemount was better than the Cobalt Soul’s. Not even Rexxentrum’s academy. Kima had tagged along to the other continent to keep Allura company and out of trouble if Yussa decided to be stupid and adventurous again. For an elf centuries older than both of them, he sure didn’t have a lot of common sense.

So Kima found herself with nothing to do one afternoon in the Cobalt Soul library except eavesdrop on other researchers while Allura read a thick tome on some subject or another. A quiet discussion that was almost an argument caught her attention.

“ – just think you might have been a bit – _hasty_ – in your field promotion of Beauregard, Dairon,” a man was murmuring to a cloaked elven woman at the table next to her. “You have yet to tell me the _reason_ for her promotion, and Ioun only knows what – what _mischief_ she and that motley crew she’s inserted herself into have gotten up to in the last six months. She has not returned to the Soul since they rampaged through. On _horses._”

“Beauregard is well worthy of her Expositor-ship when she keeps her head,” Dairon responded coolly. “And the Expositors are _my _domain if I recall, not yours – librarian.”

The man straightened and if he were any less stuck up and appropriate, Kima was sure he would have sniffed in disdain. “I have an interest in her well-being. She was my student for five years.”

“And that went very well, didn’t it, Zenoth,” Dairon said, voice dry as bone. “How many times did she run away again? And whose assistance did you request when you could not find her the last time?”

Zenoth sighed. “I understand that I did not do – as well as I could have with her, but you must agree that she was obstinate, unfocused, and entirely unable to stay still long enough to accomplish any of her studies.”

“I believe you will find those are the traits we look for in our Expositors, Zenoth, and that Beauregard is very capable of applying herself when she is interested. If you, as her instructor, could not discern those interests, that is your failure. Not hers,” Dairon said firmly. “She is quite knowledgeable on a number of subjects. Now, if you please, I have research that requires completion for the project I have going with Beauregard, and you are a distraction. Leave.”

With a huff, Zenoth gathered his own books and swept away from the table.

Kima watched him leave, then turned her attention back to the woman still at the table. So this was the mentor Beau was so conflicted about. Beau’s respect for the woman was clear every time she spoke of her, and also her indecision regarding some of her teachings when she didn’t agree. Beau was terrified – though she would never admit it – that Dairon would split ways with her if she didn’t follow her words to the letter.

“If you have something to say, stranger, I suggest you say it,” Dairon interrupted her thoughts. “Otherwise, occupy yourself somewhere else. As you no doubt overheard, I am busy.”

Well, then. Kima stood and went to sit across the table from Dairon. “You were talking about Beauregard Lionett.”

“I fail to see how that involves you.”

“She’s my kid.”

Dairon glanced quickly at her halfling stature and blonde hair. “Doubtful.”

“For all intents and purposes,” Kima amended. “I’m sure you did your homework and know her relationship with her parents. And I know how she looks up to you. You seen her recently?”

A longer, assessing examination as Dairon decided whether to give Kima the time of day. “Not recently,” the monk finally acknowledged. “I received a note from Beauregard a few weeks ago on some research she was doing, which I am following up on, but before that it had been several months since I’d heard from her. I have been – concerned,” she admitted.

Kima gave the monk her own examination, wondering if she could be trusted with Beau. “Do you care about her?”

“Beau has the potential to be a great monk of the Soul. Perhaps the best of us. She is inquisitive, intelligent, stubborn, and wise – though she could stand to use that wisdom more often,” Dairon muttered. “I want her to succeed.”

“No,” Kima shook her head, “do you care about her? As a person – a kid.”

Dairon met her gaze steadily. “She has caught my thoughts more than once in the last few months. I lost track of her – which is difficult with the party she travels with, as I’m sure you know. I thought she might have died and neglected to tell me.”

That was as much of an admission as she was going to get from the stoic monk. “She was with me. Beau and the Nein had a – disagreement. She needed more support than she was getting, and she came to me. I’ve spent the eight months I’ve known the kid trying to get her confidence to a point where she doesn’t shatter every time she thinks she’s done something wrong. I then had a very long talk with the Nein about treating Beau like a person – do I need to have the same conversation with you?”

It wasn’t a threat, but it _was _overtly protective, and Dairon stiffened. “We don’t know one another.”

“I don’t care one way or another really. But I have been building Beauregard up and trying to make up for everything her parents did to her, and everything I imagine happened to her in this place as well, and I want to be sure when I leave here no one is going to ruin that for her. No matter the training you all insist on here, she has real feelings,” Kima informed her. “And they’ve been stomped on more than enough for one lifetime.”

Dairon’s brows were raised as Kima spoke, looking disinterested but paying attention. “I will take what you have said into consideration,” she said at last. “However, I am her teacher, not her mother. Clearly that space is taken, Beauregard does not require more than one, and she is better for it being you. It’s obvious you care for her – I am grateful for this. My purpose in her life is to encourage her to become the best monk and Expositor for the Soul as she can, and correct her when she strays. I will not mince my words when she is at fault.”

“Just treat her like a person, and we won’t have a problem,” Kima warned. “We can stay out of each other’s way.”

“That is fine with me, Lady Kima.” Kima eyes shot up to the now smirking monk. “You believed I did not know you? Your exploits are spoken of even on this continent. Beauregard is lucky to have one such as you to look after her.” Dairon marked her page carefully and shut her books. “Now if you will excuse me, it is clear I will get no work done in this library today.” She gathered her things and left silently, leaving Kima staring after her and wondering which of them had ‘won’ that discussion.

Eventually, Kima wandered back over to her wife and absentmindedly pressed a kiss to her temple before she sat.

“Did you get everything off your chest, my love?” Allura asked, sounding faintly amused.

Kima nodded. “Beau’s going to be just fine,” she decided.

* * *

“Dude, Dairon complimented me!” Beau exclaimed into the mirror to Kima a few weeks later.

Kima smiled, satisfied. “As well she should, kiddo.”

She let Beau tell her all about it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beau meets someone she's only ever heard stories of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt fill - there will be a second chapter for a little mini-arc. Enjoy!

They were passing through Zadash on a quick trip from Xhorhas when Beau felt a sudden, strange urging. She stopped and glanced to her left at an unassuming temple. “I’ll uh, catch you guys in a bit,” she said, eyes fixed on the building. 

“What’s up Beau?” Fjord asked as the group halted and turned back to her. 

Beau shook her head. “Just Cobalt Soul stuff,” she lied on the spot. “Seriously, it’s fine. I’ll meet you all at Pumat’s, yeah?”

Jester frowned. “If you’re sure, Beau. You don’t want anyone to come with you? Is it secret?”

“Nah, it’s not secret,” Beau chuckled. “Just something Dairon wanted me to look up in their archives that I forgot until now. You go on - I’ll catch up.”

One of the problems that Beau felt she shouldn’t think was actually a problem, was how the Nein hovered ever since she ran away. After they’d gotten over the awkward atmosphere of her being back, of course. She didn’t mind the affirmation that they wanted her around and cared about her well-being - though she wished it hadn’t taken something so drastic as her leaving and Kima lambasting them for them all to reach this point. But yeah, this hovering she could do without. She nodded at Yasha’s unasked question, silently assuring her that everything was fine and telling her to go with the group.

When she was alone in the street, Beau casually wandered into the temple. There was only one parishioner knelt in the front and deeply in prayer. Beau stood still for a moment, waiting for another sense of what she’d felt before.

“Alright I’m here. And you should be flattered,” Beau said, eyes scanning the ceiling rafters for anything out of the ordinary. “I don’t make a habit of listening to gods. What do you want?”

There was nothing for long minutes. Trying to be patient, as Allura and occasionally Kima had worked on with her, Beau slipped into meditation. It took a few moments for her to reach that calm, but it came easier than it used to. 

“You are not the most respectful of subjects, Beauregard Lionett,” a gentle voice said - not the one she was expecting.

Beau’s eyes shot up to meet the gaze of a half-elven man with hair as black as her own. He was dressed all in black and Beau could tell he had knives hidden all around his person. “And I’d be concerned about that, _ if _I was a god’s subject and cared that they might smite me,” she retorted. “You aren’t the Raven Queen.” 

The man smiled, seemingly amused. “No. No I’m not. I am here on her behalf, though.”

“And what does the Raven Queen want with me?”

“A favor.”

Beau huffed. “A favor? The goddess of death wants a favor from me. I haven’t even been resurrected before she shouldn’t know who the fuck I am. I don’t belong in her realm just yet.”

“You misunderstand. You are in a unique position Beauregard.”

“Don’t call me that.” He hadn’t earned that name from her.

He paused, as if assessing her. “Beau, then. The Raven Queen would have come to handle this request herself, but she is required elsewhere, calling in a favor of her own. You are unique on this continent Beau - perhaps in Exandria. You are the bridge between old and new. The gods have taken notice of your group - stopping a war between two nations, that’s not unimpressive. No one has been that noticeable in over two decades.”

“Since Vox Machina,” Beau sighed. “Your sister says hello, I’m sure. Vax’ildan.”

A sad smile crossed Vax’ face and he nodded. “I know. My sister, in fact, is who the Raven Queen is visiting currently, calling in that favor. And she needs your aid.”

“If she’s already requesting Vox Machina’s help, what can we do? We’ve got nothing on them.”

“I highly doubt you would have the attention of all of my family, and the esteem and love of Lady Kima of Vord and Allura Vysoren, if you were not something special, Beau,” Vax countered. “Bahamut is calling on Kima as well. It is up to you to get the Mighty Nein to Tal’Dorei, to face what’s to come.”

Beau rolled her eyes. “Does everyone become cryptic as shit once they’ve hung out with gods for too long?” she sniped. “What. Does. She. Want?”

Vax finally broke character, his mouth widening into a grin as he laughed. “Oh, I can see why Kima loves you. The lack of patience is remarkably familiar. Orcus rises. I’m sure I don’t need to elaborate on why he must be ended, or why the Raven Queen and Bahamut are calling in every favor that they have. They are on the other side of the Divine Gate. Exandria is on its own.”

“Fuck.”

“Indeed.”

Beau contemplated all the different ways the world could end if Orcus rose from his Abyssal realm. The few writings she’d seen about him at the Cobalt Soul were not very optimistic, telling of his claims that he would be the last one left once his machinations were complete. That the cosmos would only be free when all living things were dead. Other transcripts said he even despised his own subjects, the undead, despite creating them. “And his other horn?” Beau asked. “There were rumors at the archives - that one was found decades ago and was hidden. That the other’s whereabouts are still unknown. Is that true?”

A secretive smile. “One was found, yes. It’s safe for now. The other? That will be up to you, the Mighty Nein, and Vox Machina. Even the gods are unsure of its location. They were separated before even the Calamity, to prevent Orcus from being able to travel between realms and reach your Material Plane. I wish you luck, Beau. My family loves you - make sure I don’t meet you again too soon.”

Vax vanished in a flicker of shadow, leaving Beau alone in the temple of the Raven Queen apart from a very confused parishioner staring at her as though she were crazy.

Beau flipped him off and stormed out of the temple.

* * *

“Beauregard!” Kima slammed into her, nearly knocking Beau to the ground as she came out of Caleb’s teleport circle. “How you doing kiddo?”

“Haven’t met the Prince of the Undead yet so, great Kima,” Beau drawled. “Heard you and the Platinum Dragon had a talk recently.”

“And Jester told us you met Vax. How’s he doing?”

Beau shrugged - she didn’t really have a frame of reference. “Probably hanging out with deities too much. He’s good at being vague as shit like them. I heard we get to fuck with Orcus. That’ll be fun.”

Kima laughed, drawing the attention of the others around. “Little bit!” Grog roared, scooping Beau up and squeezing her within an inch of her life. He set her down and immediately assumed a fighting stance. Beau grinned and threw a slow punch at his face.

“Perhaps we should let the rest of her party arrive before you two start trying to kill each other?” Allura mildly suggested, breaking the pair up. Grog dragged Beau back into a hug, only letting go when Kima demanded Beau back. Beau made the rounds, greeting all of the older adventurers and introducing those the Nein hadn’t met yet - namely, Vex, Percy, and Grog.

“So,” Beau said once everyone was finished. She was on the ground and leaning against a standing Kima as one of her hands gently fussed with Beau’s hair. “Demon prince of the undead. No big deal, right? Last time, one of his horns was supposedly stashed inside a beholder. You guys wouldn’t uh, happen to have anything to do with that, would you?” She’d picked up from Vax’ildan that Vox Machina had been behind the rumors of the first horn.

Keyleth shrugged. “Not my favorite time of my life. Sorry Kima.”

Kima just waved her off. “Literally decades ago, Kiki.”

“I _ still _can’t believe that Clarota betrayed us,” Vex moaned. “We were so thrilled to find him behind that fall, weren’t we Keyleth darling?”

“Yeah. Back when we still had the flying carpet.”

“Don’t remind her. She’s _ almost _ over it,” Percy snuck in, bracing himself from the smack to the chest Vex gave him.

Allura sighed. “You stole the flying carpet from _ my _ tower, if you’d recall. It was - at best - a loan. And I never got it back.”

The rest of the Nein was watching the familiar bickering between the other group, heads turning from one speaker to the next like a sparring match. Beau leaned even closer to Kima. “Is this what it was like all the time?”

“Worse,” Kima chuckled. “They did this while fighting dragons.”

“Maybe we just leave them at home,” Beau joked. “Oh, hey Vex,” she remembered. “Vax says hi.”

Vex froze, then kind of slumped. A sad smile crossed her face and she nodded. “Well of course he does,” she sniffed. “Everyone knows I’m the better twin anyway.”

“I don’t know,” Beau mused. “I mean, he didn’t shoot me with an arrow or set a bear on me so -” she laughed as Kima cuffed her upside the head. “Kima’s my favorite,” she blurted out, raising her hand in defense from more soft hits from Kima. 

There was merely a grumbling assent from the older group in response to that as Kima hugged her tight with one arm. “So why don’t we go find us a horn?” Kima suggested, grinning devilishly. “Been a long time since I’ve had a proper tussle. And no getting me turned into stone this time either.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mini-arc complete.

“I thought I told you to make sure I didn’t see you too soon,” the reprimand came from behind Beau, quiet in the darkness. 

Beau slumped, already knowing what had happened. “Fuuuuck.”

“Indeed.”

“Don’t start copying past conversations - that’s just fucking annoying Vax.” Kima was going to bring her back just to kill her again, Beau knew it. “I seriously died??” Would chop her up into tiny little pieces and spread them across Exandria. Yelling all the while. Beau could just see it now.

Vax clapped her on the shoulder and tugged on the ends of her hair affectionately. “You did. Quite spectacularly though.”

“Allura’s okay?”

“She is.”

The last thing Beau remembered was leaping in between Allura and the fire arch elemental that had fused with Orcus’ last horn. The enormous combustion sent the wizard’s way hit her instead. Beau was pretty sure she should be counting herself lucky she couldn’t remember what happened after that. Hopefully it would stay that way. Burning to death was not high on her list of ways to finally go. She just hoped Caleb hadn’t been looking when she was hit. “I couldn’t let Kima lose Allura.”

“A noble act, Beauregard Lionett.” A calm, kind voice spoke from just over Beau’s shoulder. 

The Raven Queen stepped out of the darkness, ever present mask resting on her face. Beau bowed slightly. She may not have a patron god, but she wasn’t stupid enough to disrespect any of them to their face either. “Ma’am.”

“You’ve grown rapidly, Beauregard,” the goddess complimented. “The gods have had their eyes on you for quite some time, now. Not many could pride themselves on being the beloved of so many. The family you have made for yourself is impressive - old and new.”

“I - just trying to uphold the memory of my friend, goddess. And not disappoint the ones I have now.”

The Raven Queen placed a hand gently on her shoulder. “I believe that is not a worry for you to concern yourself with. There is something about you. Touched by fate, perhaps. The first in some time.”

Beau shot a glance at Vax, who had faded back into the shadows a bit. She’d heard the stories from Vex and Keyleth. “No thank you, Ma’am. I’ve never wanted to serve a god.”

A warm chuckle rang out, filling the cavernous space around them. “Oh, Beauregard. So suspicious of everything even now,” the goddess said, clearly amused. “To be fate touched does not mean a life or death of service. Vax’ildan swore of his own free will, and so would you have to, if it were to come to that. But I did not come here to conscript - only to inform.”

“Uh huh. So what now? If you aren’t here to recruit me into your merry little duo of death escorts, no offense, I assume you’re going to have Vax  _ escort _ me on or whatever?”

“Perhaps,” was the vague reply. 

Beau rolled her eyes. “And what’s that supposed to mean? I died. Dead people go to you and on to the next realm or whatever. I’m not a complete imbecile.”

“I understand that you are familiar with resurrection rituals.”

“It’s too late for that,” Beau scoffed. “Pretty sure I burned to a crisp. Not much of me left. Besides - it’s been way too long for any kind of spell.” A thought occurred to her. “You  _ hate  _ resurrections. They go against nature and your decrees. Why would  _ you  _ want me to wait before crossing?”

The Raven Queen let her gaze wander over her domain, as if contemplating her answer. “All mortals have their time. The moment where I step in. This moment - this is not yours Beauregard. You have much left to do and give to this world, though you may not know it. Wait, Beauregard. Wait for the right moments.”

A golden light shot through the dim cavern like an arrow and seemed to pierce Beau before it settled into a warm glow on the opposite side. 

“Ah. It seems the time has come. Pike Trickfoot and Sarenrae call once again. And another. Perhaps I will not be the youngest any longer,” the Raven Queen mused. “A curious boy, that Artagan.”

“I just - go there?”

“Wherever fate takes you...listen to it. Continue to be who you are, Beauregard Lionett. That is all any god can ask for. Accept what makes you different. You will learn, in time.”

The goddess turned and began to walk away, fading as she did. “Wait! What do you mean, I’ll learn? Learn what?” But the goddess was gone. “This is why I don’t fucking talk to gods, man,” she muttered to Vax. “So fucking vague. I don’t suppose  _ you _ have any idea what she was talking about.”

Vax just chuckled and walked back over. “Make sure I don’t see you again for a few decades yeah little bit?” He knocked against Beau’s chin with one knuckle. “This time - really. Don’t go dying on them.” 

Beau nodded. She was ready to go back. She didn’t want to worry Kima or Yasha any more than she already had. “I told Vex you said hi.”

“My thanks. Now. Off you go. Don’t make them wait longer for you.” He slapped Beau on the back and shoved her toward the rift. “Oh! One more thing!” Beau turned just in time to snatch the gemmed ring Vax flipped to her. “An old friend says to get the hell out of here and don’t come back.”

A wide grin spread across Beau’s face and she clasped the ring tight to her chest as she fled through the rift between realms.

* * *

“Beauregard Lionett if you don’t open your gods damned eyes right now I  _ swear  _ to Bahamut -”

Beau squinted her eyes open. Every inch of her body hurt like nothing she’d ever felt. At least five times worse than after her first week of training at the Soul. Maybe a hundred. Somewhere in between those two. “-ma?” she groaned. Talking was even harder than keeping her eyes open. 

The one person who made her feel safer than even Yasha filled her vision immediately. Tears were cresting in the corners of her eyes - Beau wanted to reach up and wipe them away, but her arm didn’t obey the command. “I’m right here, Beau. I’ve got you kiddo.”

“-ma.”

“Don’t you ever do that again, Beauregard.”

Beau just nodded, not sure what she was agreeing to and surprised she managed that much movement. Someone tried to get her to unclench her hand. “No!” The word burst out of her with far more energy than before, and she struggled to bring her hand back to her chest. “No.”

Kima helped her to sit up and let her rest against her solid weight, her fingers carding through Beau’s mussed hair. “Whatcha got there, Beau?”

She could show Kima. Kima wouldn’t take it away from her - she’d understand how important it was. Beau let her shaking hand open just enough so Kima could briefly see the ring before clutching at it again. “Molly,” she murmured as her head slumped against Kima’s shoulder. “‘S Molly.”

“Okay kid. That’s real good. You hang on to that and let Yasha get you out of here, huh?”

Yasha ever so gently slid her arms under Beau’s legs and shoulders, and Kima was pretty sure her kid was asleep before Yasha straightened fully. She stayed sitting where she was, staring at the place where Beau had died. She could have lost her for good. 

“Kima love.”

The only voice besides Beau’s right now that could garner her attention spoke softly into her hair. Kima looked up at the wife she’d almost lost instead. 

Allura carefully turned Kima’s head away from the impression left in the dirt by Beau’s body. “Beau is alright, Kima. She came back.”

“She might not have.”

“Have you ever known Pike to fail? They brought Beau back Kima,” Allura reassured her. “Now come on. Get up love. Beau will want you when she wakes up.”

That was true. Beau always got a little bit - not needy, maybe desperate - after a close call. Once Kima was done yelling at her for being stupid, Beau generally needed the reassurance that all was forgiven and that she was okay. Kima was pretty sure some of it had to do with the complete lack of affection she got growing up and at the Soul. Beau was astonishingly good at hiding it most of the time still, but Kima could tell when she wanted someone beyond just one of the Nein - even Yasha. When Beau needed her. “I know she was just trying to say my name but -” she hesitated. “It sounded like something else, I don’t know. I thought -”

“I know, Kima.” Allura took her hand and led her over to where Keyleth was getting ready to shift them back to the Material Plane. Yasha still had a tight hold on Beau. “Let’s get her home. Keyleth?” She got the druid’s attention. “Our place first, I think. If you can manage.”

“Oh! Sure.” Keyleth did her little nervous laugh she hadn’t quite grown out of yet when asked for things. “I can do that. Yeah I can do that. Everyone hold hands!”

* * *

Kima got Beau and Yasha settled in the room Beau had stayed in the year before. The rest of the Nein returned to Xhorhas with the promise that Yasha and Beau would be along in a few days after Beau had recovered. Kima didn’t want to leave Beau, but she had Yasha resting next to her and hadn’t even twitched during the plane shifting, so she would probably be fine until Kima got back. 

“You’ll keep us updated?” Vex asked before she and Percy headed out for Keyleth to take them home. “Let us know when she wakes up.”

“Yeah,” Kima sighed. “Allura will message, I’m sure. And we still need to figure out what to do with the horn.”

Percy stepped in. “Scanlan snuck it into Grog’s bag of holding while he wasn’t looking. What he doesn’t know, he can’t pull out to play with and hurt himself,” he said drily, “and it’ll be safe with him until we know of a place it will be out of reach.”

“Good enough.” The rest of Vox Machina went outside with Keyleth, leaving Kima and Allura alone in the house besides two resting Mighty Nein.

“Kima.”

“No,” Kima immediately shook her head. “We’ll talk about how you almost died again and Beau got herself killed for you, but not right now. I love you, I just can’t right now Allie.” She kissed Allura quickly in apology and went back to Beau’s room. 

Yasha was still awake with Beau cuddled into her, sound asleep and one hand still clenched tightly around the ring she’d gotten from somewhere. “I’ll uh - I can give you some time with her. She hasn’t woken up.” Yasha carefully pried herself away from Beau, off the bed, and out of the room before Kima could come up with a denial. It was what she wanted anyway. 

Kima crawled onto the bed and Beau latched on the moment she was settled in. “You scared me today, kid,” she said with a long sigh. “I haven’t been that afraid since Allie died fighting Thordak. Not when a beholder petrified me, not when I fell to the bottom of a pit in an underwater temple to the goddess of death, not when Allie and I almost drowned. Not even with Vecna.” She pressed a kiss to Beau’s temple. “Don’t do that again. I’m getting too old for this.”

“Sorry.” Kima jumped at Beau’s sleepy muttering. “Didn’t mean to.”

“It’s okay, kiddo, I’m not angry with you.”

Beau wriggled a little bit closer, cuddling the way she had just once before: the first day she arrived at Kima’s house unannounced and desperate. “Saw Vax again. And the Raven Queen this time. She - she said stuff. Fate touched like Vax - but I don’t wanna be. All fate’s ever done is,” she yawned, “is destroy my life.”

It took a moment to piece together Beau’s exhausted words. “But you took control of it and made it better, Beau. And I’m so proud of you for that kiddo.”

“Love you,” Beau murmured. “Sorry I didn’t say it before. Wish you were -” she cut herself off. “Never mind.”

Kima let her head drop down to rest on Beau’s. “I love you so much kid. You’re my favorite, remember. I don’t care how you were born - you’re mine. And I’m hanging onto you.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Per a couple requests, some missing bits from the last arc.

It all happened so quickly. One second it looked like the arch elemental they were fighting was on its way down. The next, Kima watched Beau react to something no one else saw, throwing herself between Allura and the combustive fire ball suddenly heading in Allura’s direction.

Kima could never remember if the immediate scream that followed was hers, Beau’s, or both. But her kid was on the ground, unmoving, as Allura now hovered over her and the rest of the group battered the elemental away from the downed pair. 

“_BEAU _!” 

Another second and she was on her knees at Beau’s side, hands trembling as they tried to find a place on Beau’s body that wouldn’t cause further damage. She let loose her too minor healing power, but Beau didn’t move. 

“No, no, no, come on kid,” Kima muttered. “Don’t you _ dare _die on me Beauregard.” She felt for a pulse.

Nothing.

“Kima.” 

She could hardly feel Allura’s hand on her arm. Kima shook her head. “No. No. What was she thinking she was barely on her feet already.”

“Kima darling, we should give Pike and Jester room to work,” Allura gently urged.

“It’s okay, Allura,” Pike’s soft voice reassured them. Apparently the fight was finally over. “Kima can stay; it won’t hurt the ritual at all. Okay, Kima?”

The halfling nodded silently, her eyes fixed on Beau’s face so she wouldn’t have to see the damage done to her kid’s body. “Can you bring her back?” she eventually asked, voice dull even to her own ears.

A hesitation. That was the last thing Kima needed. Why was Pike _ hesitating_? “It depends on her, really. You know that,” Pike told her. “We act like - conduits, I guess, but it’s up to Beau in the end.”

She. Would not. Cry. Never mind that her _ kid _was - - was dead. She wouldn’t until she knew one way or another. Until she knew if Beau was going to come back to her.

The ritual began. They always seemed to go on longer than necessary when the spell itself only took seconds. Kima knew that appeals had to be made to gods, that placing a soul back in a body, even willing, was a feat not many clerics could accomplish - that not many gods allowed. That the Raven Queen in particular would be watching this resurrection closely, having sent her Champion to meet Beau personally before all this. The gods clearly had a vested interest in Beau’s life.

Kima wished they would would have left her the fuck _ alone_.

It took time for everyone to decide amongst themselves who would be best to cajole for Beau’s return. Most of the Mighty Nein looked ready to volunteer, though they deferred to Yasha. But Yasha, panicked at the thought of her hesitant words not being enough, silently begged for Fjord or Caleb to step in. Caleb joined the ritual circle, sticking close to Jester’s side to offer the quietly crying trickster some support.

Vox Machina conferred amongst themselves before Vex stepped forward, asking the Nein if she could also partake, representing the other family that had grown so fond of Beau, despite their few meetings. They were an insular group, loners suspicious of all outsiders, but Kima and Allura had always been part of their family. Beau belonged to them and thus Vox Machina as well.

Kima didn’t see or hear whatever it was the other two had done and said. How they tried to convince Beau to come back to them. For the Raven Queen to allow yet another exception for their small family. Kima had eyes only for Beau. Only when Pike nudged her shoulder did Kima spring to attention. She pulled out her symbol to Bahamut and laid it on Beau’s chest, hands trembling with suppressed emotion. 

“I don’t know you,” Kima muttered angrily. “You’re not my god. But she’s not _ yours _ either. She’s _ mine _ \- you hear me? Beau isn’t done here, and you don’t get to keep her yet. And you’d better be listening to me too Beauregard Lionett. You put your soul back where it belongs right now or you will have hell to pay when I get up there and _ drag _your ass back here.” She dropped down until her forehead touched Beau’s. “Please kid,” she whispered for her ears alone. “Don’t you leave me.”

“I’ve got her,” Pike announced suddenly, and a golden glow burst from her hands to sink into Beau. 

Kima watched the light fade around Beau just for Bahamut’s symbol to begin a minute rise and fall as Beau started breathing again. Pike and Jester backed away as Yasha took Beau’s hand, with Kima still leaning over Beau’s prone form.

“Beauregard Lionett if you don’t open your gods damned eyes right now I _ swear _to Bahamut -”

* * *

Allura went in to check on her wife and the young woman they’d both come to love in the last two years and found them peacefully asleep. Beau had her ear resting over Kima’s heart, taking comfort from the sound of its steady rhythm, and Kima’s arms were wrapped tight around the girl she considered a daughter, keeping her safe from any enemy - imagined or real. Allura silently retreated back to where Yasha was waiting and worrying. “They’re asleep,” she reassured the younger woman. 

Yasha only nodded and returned her gaze to the forest outside the window she’d been sitting in front of for the last hour. 

“And how have you been handling everything this whole time?”

The barbarian hesitated, eyes serious. “I wasn’t here when they met. After they got me away from - from _ him_,” she shuddered, “I barely noticed either of you.” It couldn’t have been helped, that day. “I didn’t _ really _notice you until Beau got herself into trouble with those hags.” 

Allura chuckled, remembering Kima’s frantic need to find the kid she hardly knew. And how she’d manhandled her afterward. “That must not have been easy for you to see - Kima cornering Beau like that.”

“I nearly attacked,” Yasha admitted. Her vision had filled with red at watching what she perceived to be Beau’s mistreatment. Rage had flowed until Yasha saw the way Beau never flinched, even as Kima ranted. Beau _ always _ flinched or startled when people raised their voices. “When everything with - with Kamordah - I’m not good with words. I’m a coward. I run. I watched the first woman I loved be - be executed and...I couldn’t watch the second tear herself apart for the sake of our group.”

“She told us you were the one to ensure she made it somewhere safe. To us,” Allura prodded.

Yasha grimaced, her brow furrowing as she remembered that awful day in Kamordah. “That place - her _ family_,” she growled. “They don’t understand the gift that she is, always was. And the others - they didn’t see her. Not until she ran away. I’m not good with words Allura. I couldn’t - I couldn’t make them see either. How smart she is, how kind.” Yasha shrugged helplessly. 

Allura rested a hand on Yasha’s shoulder, coaxing her to look up. “I’ll tell you the same thing Kima told Beau when she got here. You got help. You got _ her _help, even just by sending her on to us.”

“Thank you, Yasha.” Kima’s voice broke into their conversation quietly. She was leaning against the doorframe to Beau’s room, keeping an eye on her kid but having been woken by the two women still just outside. “I never did say that before.”

A blush filled Yasha’s face, and all she could do was raise her shoulders sheepishly. “I love her,” was all she said, clearly unable to elaborate further.

Kima nodded, accepting that Yasha didn’t want to continue that part of the conversation. “Beau will wake up soon. She’s making that face she does when she’s mad at the world for intruding on her sleep. Why don’t you go back in with her?” she suggested. “I think Beau will want to see you, and I’m sure you do her.” Kima took Yasha’s place by her wife when the younger woman disappeared back into Beau’s room.

“Is now the time we talk?” Allura asked.

Silence for a moment. “It’s like I told Beau,” Kima eventually sighed. “I’ve never been so afraid in my life, Allie. You could have died. _ Again_. I almost watched you die again. But instead, I had to watch my -”

“Your daughter,” Allura prompted at the hesitation.

Kima slumped into the wall, resting her head on Allura’s waist. “I thought we’d avoided this. I never wanted this. But every bit of me knows that kid in there is mine, and that I’d put myself in the way of every bad thing that ever wanted to hurt her. Except today. I couldn’t save her today.”

Allura knelt down, gently wiping the trail of tears from Kima’s face. “You did help save her, my love. I have every belief you would have confronted the gods themselves to bring her back.”

“You still don’t resent me for basically adopting a kid without asking you?” Kima chuckled.

Allura laughed with her. “Watching you love someone as fiercely as you love me is a privilege Kima. And I care for our little one as well. I never want you to feel you have to restrain yourself in your relationship with Beauregard, Kima. She needs you.”

Kima threw her arms around Allura’s neck, holding her wife close. “I love her so much, Allie,” she murmured. “It frightens me.”

“I believe that is what being a parent is like, darling,” Allura couldn’t help but tease. “You will get used to it, I’m sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kima successfully intimidated both Beau and the Raven Queen during the resurrection, though we'll say the Raven Queen was more impressed by the attempt than actually intimidated. Hope you guys liked it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Filling two requests - Enjoy!

Why did anyone think splitting up _ ever _was a good idea? It always led to pain, torment, getting lost, more pain, the like. Getting kidnapped by hags, falling through portals, and everything in between. Beau muttered complaints frustratedly to herself as she fought off the chimera that had managed to thoroughly wreck her.

The anger was keeping her distracted from the reminder that the body she was currently standing over was the woman she was in love with, possibly bleeding out even as Beau continued her best attempt at killing the goat - lion - dragon? - _ thing. _ If they’d been with the group, this stupid fucking monster wouldn’t have been a problem. But _ no _, separating in the midst of a series of very confusing caverns was the greatest plan ever thought of. According to Jester and Nott. 

At least she was with Yasha, since she didn’t get to go with Kima, who had taken to visiting more regularly since Beau’s death a couple months ago. Beau had suggested she go with Caleb to protect the skimpy wizard, if they _ had _to be split up into pairs. Jester and Nott had run off together, and Fjord and Caduceus had rounded out the last pair. 

If the rest of them had had a quiet exploration, Beau was going to kick all their fucking asses when she got back to them. Kima’s included.

On her own, it took _ forever _ to bring the chimera down, though she managed just fucking fine. Once the last head was finally down, forcing the body to collapse in on itself, Beau dropped to her knees by Yasha and began digging around in her pack for any stray medical supplies she might be carrying around, cursing herself for always giving her health potions to Caleb. Why hadn’t she thought that she might need one for a situation like this? She’d gotten too complacent - always expecting one of their surplus of clerics to handle any of these problems. 

Never again.

“Beau?”

The weak voice roused her from her frenzied bandaging. “Hey,” Beau gasped with a smile. Yasha’s eyes were hazy, but at least they were open, even if they were threatening to close again. “No no no, Yash, don’t sleep yet. I need you to do your healing thing with your hands - I got nothing.” Yasha nodded shakily and held up her arms to Beau’s side. Beau grabbed them and gently set them on Yasha’s own body. “No, you. I’m fine, you’re the one that went unconscious on me, and I really don’t need you bleeding out before the rest of them find us.”

A little flash of white light, and Yasha’s breathing eased as the pain did. “Sorry,” Yasha murmured, sinking back into Beau’s lap. “Left you alone.”

“Nah, don’t worry about me,” Beaa waved her off. “I made Nugget food out of ‘em. I gave him a pop pop - never stood a chance.” She finished tying off a bandage around the last wound Yasha couldn’t heal and pressed a light kiss to Yasha’s lips that was returned. “You sleep more, yeah? I’ll keep an eye out.”

“Wake me?”

Beau immediately shook her head and cut off Yasha’s ensuing protest. “You need the rest, Yash. I got this, okay?” Allura had been working with her on this. “Let me take care of you this time.”

It took Beau allowing her to sit up and sleep leaning against the stone wall, but Yasha eventually agreed to closing her eyes. She was out moments later, leaving Beau alone with her thoughts. Once she was sure Yasha was asleep, Beau crawled over to her bag and pulled out her last bandage. Wincing, she tugged down her leggings to eye where the goat head’s horns had gored her right above her hip. “That’s gonna scar,” she groaned, pressing the cloth to the hole. She was also pretty sure the dragon _ might _have broken a couple of her ribs. Or the lion. Up for debate.

Tying a strip around the wad pressed against the puncture, Beau settled in for a long night. Yasha was restless, obviously still in pain. Every time she seemed like she might be about to wake, Beau dragged herself over, hushing Yasha with quiet words and the occasional kiss pressed to her forehead or cheek. 

Stuck in a cave without so much as a fire, the night lasted impossibly longer than most.

* * *

An indistinct yell startled Beau from her half awake daze. She attempted to lurch to her feet, but a blaze of pain from her hip shooting down her leg had her hunched over and grunting on all fours. “Fuck,” she whined lowly. A quick glance over showed that Yasha was still asleep, now slumped over on the ground. “Alright. Yeah.” Beau hauled herself to her feet and limped to Yasha’s side. “Hey Yash. I think the cavalry has arrived.” Yasha still looked pretty out of it, but at least her eyes opened and she nodded minutely. “I’m gonna head down the way a bit, see if I can get their attention quicker. Be right back.”

“Careful,” Yasha murmured as her eyes slipped shut again.

Beau limped back the way they’d come yesterday, unable to see anything even with her goggles. “Hello?” she called. “Fjord? Kima?” 

Another few minutes, and a glow in the distance quickly became Jester, Nott, and Fjord. “Hey! There you are!” Fjord said, grabbing onto Beau’s arm. “When you and Yasha didn’t show up to the rendezvous point, we got worried. Where’s Yasha?”

“Hurt. She’ll be okay, I think, but Jester - she could use some help if you’ve got any spells left. We spent the night about a mile that way,” she explained, jerking a thumb over her shoulder. 

Jester grimaced. “I’ve got a couple. I hope it’s enough. Nott and I got into _ heaps _of trouble too. What’d you fight was it big and scary?”

Beau huffed. “A chimera. Fucking - three headed thing with wings. And lots of teeth.” And horns, the stab wound very clearly reminded her by throbbing. But Jester only had a couple spells left…

She could wait. Nothing to be done for it.

* * *

Jester got Yasha up and moving again with the last of her healing, but it was still a slow process to get to the meeting point. Beau kept up as best she could while still hiding her injury, pretending she was just keeping watch at the back of the line. She breathed a sigh of relief when the soft glow of a fire came into view. They’d almost made it.

“Beau!” Kima was at her side the moment they were in range of the fire light. “You guys okay?”

“Remind me never to split the party again,” Beau joked, returning the hug Kima gave her. “I swear - Kima. Someone always almost dies.”

Kima scoffed, not noticing the hesitation. “Tell me about it. Your wizard boy is not the sternest of folks.”

“He’s a little wilt-y but we love him anyway,” Beau agreed. “You guys got on alright?” They both looked fine, as did Caduceus, who was busily making some tea at the fire. 

“Looks like you and Yasha got the worst of it, though I heard it was rough on Jester and Nott as well. Fjord got the thing you were looking for so, field trip’s over.”

Beau groaned in relief. “Thank the gods. I hate caves. And basements. And cellars. And tunnels. They all suck. Too many burrowing creepy crawly fuckers or _ big _creepy fuckers. And it’s dark.” Her hip panged, and it took everything she had to not flinch. 

Caduceus was finished assessing Yasha over by the fire and had apparently decided she would be just fine, because Beau didn’t see any of his distinctive pink magic floating around. Okay - maybe she could - she could ask now.

“Hey Kima?”

“What’s up, kiddo?”

“I’m sorry, don’t get mad.”

Kima stared up at her suspiciously, trying to suss out the change in tone. “What did you do? Where is it?” Her eyes roved around Beau’s body as if she could see beneath her vestiges to where she was hurt. 

Beau rolled her waistband down with a sigh just as her ribs reminded her they were broken too. Kima had to catch her when she stumbled. “It’s not that bad,” Beau murmured. 

“You let me decide that Missy. You are in so much trouble after this, even if you did say sorry preemptively. Nice touch.” Kima quickly got Beau sitting before barking over for Caduceus. “Hey fluffy, my idiot kid needs a couple spells.”

Jester bounced over immediately, ahead of Caduceus, face written with worry. “Beau!” she admonished. “You should have _ said _something I would have saved a spell for you!”

“Yasha needed it,” Beau waved her off. “I’m fine. I _ am _!” she replied to Kima’s disbelieving grunt. “Wrapped it an’ everything! I’m not gonna keel over from a little scratch okay?” 

Caduceus came over and did his weird, make lichen appear from nowhere on the wound - Beau still wasn’t sure that was sanitary - and then brushed it off, revealing a mostly healed puncture. Her ribs felt a lot better too. “That should do alright,” he said with his big grin.

“Thanks Duceus.” Kima was still glaring at her, arms crossed. Beau sighed. “I said I was sorry, Kima.”

“Sorry isn’t going to cut it forever, kid. Come on.” Kima nodded down the tunnel. “Take a walk with me, we won’t go far.”

Beau groaned, but did as she was told. “What is it, Kima?” she asked once they were a fair distance away. 

“I just want a check in with you, Beau. I’m not even - I’m not angry with you. Tell me your thought process, and I’ll decide if you were stupid or not.”

Well. It was more of a chance than she used to get to explain herself, so Beau shrugged. “We weren’t expecting it. The thing had three heads, there were only two of us, and neither of us can attack from a distance. Yasha eventually went down, and I finished it off, but - I’m not magic. I had to force Yasha to wake up so she could heal herself and not bleed out because I’m an idiot who didn’t bring any healing potions because I gave them all to Caleb. There wasn’t really anything else I could do, and Yasha’s healing is barely enough to keep you alive at the best of times. Not like she had any leftover for me. I could deal with it, so I did.”

Kima nodded, acknowledging that. “Okay. And after Jester found you?”

“Yasha was still really hurt. I had to leave her to make sure the others found us because she couldn’t even walk. I wasn’t going to ask for anything until I was sure she was going to make it. I - I love her, Kima.”

“I know. I know you do,” Kima sighed, patting Beau’s waist. “And I’m not happy about it, but you made the right call. This time. As long as you aren’t sacrificing yourself needlessly, I’ll be upset that you have to but not angry _ at _you. Understand?”

Beau grinned and dropped to her knees to give Kima a hug. “Thanks Ma.” She froze. “Wait. I mean -”

Kima was laughing at her embarrassment already. “Oh man, you didn’t mean to say that did you?”

“I didn’t - shut up! It’s half your name, whatever!” Beau broke free and took off back down the tunnel.

“Aw, come on kiddo! Come here and mean it this time!”

“No!”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short little thing in honor of the most recent episode, even though I'm still working my way through the 80's episodes.

“Oh, fuck.” It came out as barely a whisper, Beau just staring at Vilya with fingertips pressed tight into her temples. “You - druid, Tal’Dorei, half-elf, Vilya. Oh fucking hells and the gods and demons, Bahamut kill me now.”

“Are - is she alright?” Vilya asked Caduceus, who was still the nearest one after lifting the curse.

The rest of the Nein were staring at Beau, not having quite caught on to what she knew. “Beau?” Fjord asked hesitantly. “Care to share with the rest of the class where your brain’s at?”

Instead, Beau stalked over and dragged Jester away from Vilya by the shoulders. “You need to message M - Kima,” she muttered urgently. “_Now_.”

“What’s going on Beau?” Jester asked, looking to Fjord for help. “Is it bad? Is Vilya,” her voice dropped in volume, “you know. _ Bad _?”

“No. No, this is very very good. I think.” Beau’s hand swiped through her hair nervously. “I gotta handle this carefully - it’s been what, thirty years?” she asked a little louder at Vilya, who nodded. “Missing thirty years, checks out. Vilya, who uh - what tribe are you from?”

“The...Air Ashari tribe of Zephrah. I’m sorry. What is going on?”

Veth seemed to click on next, surprisingly, but thank Bahamut she seemed stunned into silence. Her head just swiveled to stare at Beau like an owl - which was honestly kind of creepy but Beau ignored that for the moment. “Is this another one of those Tal’Dorei Council things?” Caduceus wondered, looking confused. “I don’t really understand where we’re going with this.”

“No!” Veth yelled but didn’t elaborate.

“Jester. Have Kima get here. We need her _ right now_.” Beau’s heart was beating like she’d just run five miles in ten minutes. This was - this was _ everything_. “With Allura.”

“Okay. Okay, Beau, I’ll Send a message to her,” Jester reassured her frantic best friend, still confused but going with it. Beau had to have a reason for being so anxious the second they’d learned Vilya’s name, and if she needed her Mama Jester would get her. She wouldn’t mess up their friendship again. She let the Traveler’s magic flow through her, even stronger since getting to Rumblecusp, and carefully counted her words. “Hey Kima? Could you and Allura come to Rumblecusp? It’s an island with a volcano and a cult and Beau really wants you here thanks!”

It took a few seconds for the reply to come through. “Why are you morons on an island with - you know what? I don’t want to know. Allie and I will be there. Stay put Beau.”

Jester grinned. “She says ‘Stay put Beau’.” Beau rolled her eyes and scoffed, muttering about how she hadn’t even _ done _anything to get in trouble for. “And that she and Allura will get here. Not how soon though. But probably soon - Allura is really really powerful so probably soon.”

“Right. Yeah. It’ll be soon,” Beau reassured herself. “We can get this all worked out when they get here.”

“I am still not sure uh, what it is exactly we are working out,” Caleb murmured. 

Beau’s head shot up like she’d just remembered anyone else was there. “Oh, shit. Okay. Right. Uh, Vilya? You have a daughter, don’t you?”

“How could you possibly know that?” Vilya’s tone was cautious and defensive for the first time, and she eyed Beau suspiciously. 

“You have a daughter - she’d be about forty now right? Half-elf just like you, red hair, freckles, probably skinny and clumsy as fuck the last time you saw her.”

Vilya’s gaze narrowed. “I assume you have a point.”

“Name’s Keyleth?”

The silence that followed was so vast anyone could have heard a pin drop on mossy ground from fifteen feet away.

Then all hell broke loose as everyone in the Nein started trying to talk over one another - Veth was just kind of screeching in the background. Yasha’s wings bursting out and her yell finally shut everyone back up. “If you could all knock it off for a second?” she growled. “And let Beau talk?”

“Y-You know my baby?”

Hearing the Voice of the _ Tempest _ referred to as someone’s ‘baby’ was _ not _ the way Beau had expected her day to go. The same Voice of the Tempest that regularly turned into dragons and was likely - if anyone ever bothered testing it - the most powerful person in the world for arguably the last two decades. Keyleth was someone’s _ baby_. “Yeah. I know Keyleth - and the rest of her family. You’re gonna be real proud of her,” Beau said as gently as she knew how. “She can tell you most of it, but she’s the leader of the Air Ashari now - she completed her Aramente. And I know she didn’t stop looking for you until the day she thought she got confirmation that you died.”

Vilya seemed to be trying to reconcile all of that new information in her head when Allura and Kima appeared a couple hundred feet away. Kima immediately jogged up to Beau, ready to spit fire. “Do I need to keep a tracker on you so that Allie can actually teleport to every Bahamut-forsaken corner of the world you idiots manage to find yourselves in?” she complained. “Why in the hells are all of you way out here?” Belying her frustrated tone, the hug she pulled Beau into was tight and exuded safety. 

“Well,” Beau sighed, straightening up. “Vilya, these two are some of your daughters’ friends. Kima, Allura,” she added when the wizard approached much more sedately than her wife, “meet Vilya. Keyleth’s - mom.”

* * *

Finally getting to see Zephrah was nothing compared to watching Keyleth and Korrin tearfully reunite with Vilya after so long apart. Apologies fell from Vilya’s lips like running water as she explained how she was torn from the water tribe through a portal and landed on an island that made her forget herself. 

The rest of the Nein had scattered around the small village, either getting a tour or entertaining some of the tribe’s children with their antics, but Beau stayed a little distance away from the family, observing everything with a tiny but satisfied smile on her lips. A shoulder nudged against her hip, and Beau sat down without looking, letting Kima sling an arm around her shoulders and press a kiss to her temple. 

“You continually one up yourself, kiddo,” Kima mused. “You and your friends did a real good thing today - something not even Vox Machina could ever do.”

“We just kind of stumbled on her,” Beau protested half-heartedly. “It was a total accident.”

“Maybe. But you put all the clues together, and now Keyleth has her mother back. Korrin has his wife. You did that Beauregard. Who knew some punks from Wildemount would be so instrumental in the lives of the great Vox Machina?” 

Beau scoffed and shoved Kima away with one hand. “Now you’re just fucking with me,” she muttered, arms crossed.

“I’m serious!” Kima protested, chuckling. “Look at what you guys have done. Really think about it. You single handedly forced two warring nations to agree to peace talks, leading to a truce that is holding, you gave one of those nations back the objects that hold what they believe to be their deities, you’ve halted the machinations of a demigod trying to ascend and prevented a Betrayer God from returning to this plane. If you were reading this in the Cobalt Soul library, what would you think, Beau? Seriously.”

“I would think -” Beau hesitated. “I’d think those people were heroes,” she finally admitted reluctantly.

“And you’re only just getting started kiddo. I can’t wait to see what you lot get up to in the next couple years. You may never get the same kind of credit as Vox Machina, those morons are much too flashy, but the people you help will remember you. Mark my words.”

Beau leaned into Kima’s side as a kiss was pressed into the top of her hair. “Thanks Ma,” she murmured.

  
  



	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Courtesy of a prompt from - it's been so long I can't remember. Only took me like 8 months because 2020 is a thing. Ah, well. Here you go.

“Hey Kima? Could you and Allura come to the Xhorhaus like - now? Beau is - fine! She’s _ totally _fine! I… think? Could you just come please?”

That message did not instill a lot of confidence in Kima that her kid was indeed fine. But even after she replied and asked for clarification, Jester didn’t send another message. So, her worry rising by the second, Kima scrambled to track down her wife and get them to Wildemount as quickly as possible.

The sight that greeted them wasn’t even the last thing on her list she’d ever expect, because she’d _ never _ have expected this. “Mama!” a tiny child yelled happily before running over and throwing her arms around Kima’s waist. The kid’s black hair _ just _brushed against Kima’s chin as she nattered on excitedly about something Kima wasn’t quite catching. 

“Does someone want to explain this child’s presence?” Allura asked. “Where is Beauregard?”

That’s what Kima wanted to know. 

“Right here ‘llura!” the kid chirped, letting go of Kima finally. 

And now Kima could see the resemblance between this kid and _ her _kid. Same hair, the bright blue eyes, wild grin. She took a deep breath, immediately pushing any panic down before it would freak out the ki- Beau. “Allie? Figure out what happened here. C’mon Beau, let’s let the boring adults talk.” She held out her hand for Beau to take, carefully holding the tiny hand that was placed in hers without hesitation. 

Yasha quickly showed them to her own room so they could have some privacy - Beau seemed taken by the field of flowers painted on the walls and didn’t really notice when Yasha rested a hand on top of her head gently before taking her leave. “Pretty flowers, Mama,” she informed Kima.

“Yes, I see them Beau. Come over here, kiddo. Let me get a look at you - Beauregard, come here,” Kima patiently instructed again when the kid didn’t seem to hear her the first time. Beau stiffened and ran over immediately. She fidgeted under the inspection but stood ramrod straight, her eyes fixed on the floor. “Hey,” Kima called gently, trying to coax Beau into looking at her again. “What’s wrong, Beau?”

“Din’t mean to be bad, Mama,” Beau apologized. “Sorry.”

Kima frowned, not sure what could have caused the sudden change in the excitable kid’s mood. “What makes you think you’ve been bad, kid?”

“Father and Mother only call me Beauregard, and they only call me when I’m bad,” Beau whispered to the floor, not daring to meet Kima’s gaze. “’M sorry. I’ll be good, I promise.”

If she hadn’t known that it would do more harm to Beau’s psyche than good at this point to march over to Kamordah and rip Thoreau Lionett to shreds, Kima would have had him in pieces by morning. “Can I touch you, Beau?” Kima asked, keeping her voice soft. The kid gave her a wary look before nodding hesitantly. Probably no one had ever really asked Beau permission for anything before at this age. Kima pulled her into a tight hug and felt tiny fingers grabbing at her shirt in response, as far around as little arms could reach. _ This _was the kid an older Beau had once tearfully and adamantly described as ‘fucked up’ by her dime a dozen terrible dad. This curious, bright, energetic little kid, with a desperation for affection she’d never gotten - and Kima had never wanted to be a mother. 

She’d accepted a year ago that Beau was someone that was going to be in her life for a long time, and months ago that what they had went far beyond any kind of mentorship. Beau had been calling her ‘Ma’ more often, switching it out for ‘Kima’ whenever anyone that wasn’t Allura or Yasha was around. Kima had never had to deal with a small child, never wanted to, but Beau was Beau no matter the age apparently, and the fierce protectiveness and love inside her heart for the kid responded just the same.

“Listen to me, Beau. You did nothing wrong,” Kima said firmly, resting her chin on top of Beau’s head. “You can look at the pretty flowers all you want, I just wanted to see how big and strong you are today. That’s all.” Beau giggled into her chest. “And maybe ask if you did anything fun earlier.” Maybe she could learn what had happened to her daughter from the source.

“Went visiting with Caleb!” Beau said cheerfully, back to her usual self and fiddling with the ties of Kima’s shirt. “Saw Essek - and, and, magic stuff. Caleb’s magic stuff.” The kid frowned, concentrating like she was trying to remember.

“Did something happen with the magic stuff?” Kima prompted.

Beau’s eyes brightened. “Yeah big blue cloud! Then - everyone was real big, and Caleb was really really scared.”

Okay. Magic gone awry was at least better than magic cast with ill intent. No curse or anything to deal with made this a little bit simpler. Beau would probably return to normal on her own or a restoration from one the clerics might even be enough to do it. “Do you remember being bigger, Beau?”

“Uh huh. I punch stuff!”

“You sure do,” Kima chuckled, patting the fists Beau held in front of her face. Now what did she do with a five year old for an entire day? “Did anyone feed you?”

Beau grimaced immediately. “Caddy made me eat vegetables,” she said with utmost scorn. “But then he let me pet one of the beetles that lives in his stick, so it’s okay I guess.”

“Good, good. Anything else you want?” She was pretty self sufficient - could probably come up with her own entertainment and spare Kima the indecision of not exactly knowing what a tiny Beau liked to do in her spare time.

“Caleb has a _ library_,” Beau whispered, eyes wide.

Not quite what she expected, but fair enough. Beau had spent a large chunk of the days she’d stayed with her and Allura in Tal’Dorei in Allura’s arcane library. Kima was pretty sure she’d even copied down some spells without asking and snuck them to Caleb when she’d returned to the Nein. She knew very well how much Beau enjoyed quieter afternoons with five texts laid out open on a table and filling a notebook with whatever she found interesting. “You still like reading? How old were you when you learned?”

“Martha taught me. Was two.” Beau held up two fingers as evidence. “Said would keep me out of trouble with Father.”

Kima didn’t know who Martha was, probably some nanny who had come and gone in an effort to keep Beau out of the way of her parents. “Well, why don’t we go see what Caleb’s library has to offer then?” She took Beau’s hand and let the kid lead her to where the books were.

* * *

Despite her inexperience with kids and lack of desire to be around them, Kima was having _ fun _ hanging out with little kid Beau. She was equally as amazing as her adult self, just a little different. Less curse words, more yelling, her excitement was less controlled, but Kima was enjoying seeing that at full blast. Beau was still such a good kid, and it turned out Kima loved her no matter how old she was. 

Reading wasn’t exactly enough to keep Beau occupied for hours at a time like it did the Beau Kima knew, but in between spurts of running wild around the room, she was cuddled up into Kima’s side and reading something Kima had looked at and hoped was age appropriate. Even if Beau remembered being an adult, she still had the mind of a five year old right now and she didn’t want anything freaking her out. Some spellbooks came with illustrations, and those could get graphic depending on the spell.

“Kima, my love, the rest of the Nein’s friend… Essek - has determined that the magic should wear out in the next few hours, and Beau should be back to her normal self. He was unclear on whether she would remember the events of the day, but either way, she will be perfectly alright.”

“Thanks Allie. I’ll stay up here with her - looks like the whirlwind is finally settling down for a nap,” Kima chuckled, watching her spinning child start to slow down, her eyes drooping. 

“We’ll see you in the morning, dear heart.”

A solid weight pushed up against Kima’s side, Beau burrowing her face into her shoulder. “Tired, kiddo?” Kima asked, planting a kiss on the top of Beau’s head.

“Uh huh,” Beau mumbled, barely audible. 

“You want to go back to your room and take a nap? Allura says you’ll be back to being big in the morning.”

Beau nestled in deeper. “Can I go Yash’s room? Want Yash.”

“Sure thing, Beau. Up we go.” She grunted as she lifted the half asleep child, hauling her carefully up the stairs and trying not to disturb her as tiny snores started rumbling against her neck. “Bahamut’s sake, you’re adorable,” Kima muttered. She toed the door to Yasha’s room open, nodding at the other woman when she looked up from a book. “Special delivery of a cuddly kid,” she announced quietly.

Yasha smiled and gently removed Beau from Kima’s arms. She pressed a kiss to Beau’s forehead, who just grunted and turned into Yasha’s chest. “Thank you,” Yasha murmured.

“I’ll see you both in the morning.”

“Mama?”

Kima turned back around. “What is it, kiddo?”

A tiny hand reached out and clumsily patted Kima on the cheek. “Love you, good night.”

She deserved an award for not melting into the floor right then and ruining her entire reputation of being a badass. “I love you too Beau. You’re my favorite. Now get some sleep.” Kima pressed one last kiss to the top of Beau’s head before letting herself out of the room quietly as Yasha settled Beau beneath her sheets, climbing on top of them to read her to sleep.

Kima couldn’t imagine life without that kid anymore. She didn’t want to.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to write a Hag chapter with Kima in the mix. Eight months after the episode, but whatever. Also, I'm playing fast and loose with timelines in this story, so don't worry about the timing of everything.

Just because she’d separated herself from her father years ago, had all but thrown away the Lionett name and legacy, didn’t mean Beau could run away from her past forever. An issue that became very clear when she connected the dots that the woman that had cursed Nott to reincarnate as a goblin was none other than the hag fortune teller her father had gone to before she was born. The hag that had indirectly ruined her childhood due to her father’s paranoia and disdain for his female first born. 

Beau nearly had a panic attack when she figured it out. Yasha had to haul her away from the group for a few minutes to give her some time to calm down without the rest of the Nein asking well-meaning but intrusive questions. “Are you alright?” she asked quietly.

“Yeah. Yeah,” Beau muttered, swiping at her face to make sure no tears could betray her. Not that she would be fooling anyone. 

Jester carefully tiptoed over, cautious of upsetting either of the other two women. “Beau? Do you want me to ask Kima to come?” she asked in one of the more gentle and subdued tones Beau had ever heard from her.

“No. Thanks though, Jester. We’re gonna have to go ask my illustrious father where to find this bitch of a hag, and if Kima meets him, she’ll tear him limb from limb.” Beau tried to force out a chuckle, grateful that Yasha and Jester didn’t draw attention to how fake it sounded. “Let’s just get this over with so we can go break the curse for Nott. Veth.”

* * *

Of course a hag who lived off deals would never agree to break one without another to take its place. When Nott came out of the hut and confessed that she’d offered to re-start the war in exchange, Beau saw red. “You have a family Nott, I get that. But what about all those other families we’ve seen on _ both _sides of the border?” she spat. “You think any one of us is worth causing that much pain to two countries’ worth of people?” 

“I just said it to buy some time!” Nott protested. “I didn’t actually do it!”

Beau shook her head. “I cannot believe you Nott.” She walked into the hut without another word, ignoring the verbal protests behind her and shaking off Yasha’s grasping hand.

“You smell familiar,” the hag sniffed as the door slammed shut, cloaking them in near darkness. “Have I made a deal with you before? I’m usually better about remembering such things.”

“Not with me,” Beau said evenly, tone almost dead. “But I’m the product of one of them so that might be what you’re picking up on. I hear you’re all about misery - is that it?” she changed the subject. “Exchange? I’m not exactly the new misery you’re going for, but I’m sure we can come up with something that isn’t a war.”

“Your father, yes. I remember now.” The hag gave an ugly grin. “Your friend’s offer is enticing, but I’m willing to view the rest of the pot - see if you have something … _ interesting _in mind.”

Her heart was pounding in her chest at a rate Beau could feel throughout her body. She was almost shivering from anxiety, because yeah. She had something _ interesting _in mind. Something far more contained than Nott’s offer of sabotaging peace talks. It would only decimate two people, not two countries. Well, maybe three. “You know - my life, this last year… ‘s been pretty amazing, despite everything. I’ve got this family, a girl who loves me, I even got this woman who -” Beau flinched, throat tightening. “I’ve got a mom, I think for the first time ever. And it’s pretty fucking great. Honestly it’s the best thing that ever happened to me. So that’s what I’ll give you. Even exchange, right? One mom for another.”

The hag leaned forward, intrigued. “New _ misery_,” she hissed agreeably. 

“And everything else? What about all that old misery?”

“Your father’s deal remains….ongoing.”

Well. Nothing for it then. “You’ve already taken quite a bit from me, what’s a little more?” Beau shrugged, desperately trying to hold it together. Every bit of her screamed that she couldn’t lose Kima, that she’d die without Kima, but she fought it back by harshly reminding herself that if the entire continent went up in the flames of war with the Nein caught on both sides, it’d be as good as losing her anyway. She fisted her trembling hands. 

Once upon a time she would have had the cynical thought that none of this was built to last anyway and she had already peaked in life. That sooner or later she’d end up alone again, so why not end it earlier than planned so she could at least do some good with it. But Kima had practically beat a sense of self-worth into her over the last year, and Yasha’s gentle love had shored it up in the best of ways. Beau couldn’t imagine having to live without either of them. But she would, for the sake of Nott and the rest of the world. 

“Chosen separation, exile from the one you call mother, in exchange for the lifting of the curse on the one outside. Do you accept this transaction?” The hag held out a gray, wrinkled, claw like hand that Beau hesitated to take. “Think about it if you are uncertain,” the hag offered, withdrawing her hand. “But you’ve already come this far. Would be a shame to walk away empty handed.”

Beau turned on her heel and stalked out of the hut…

...instantly into Yasha’s arms. 

“Beau, what did you do?” Yasha demanded, more forceful than she ever was as she nearly carried Beau back over to the group.

“Nothing yet,” Beau muttered. “I just - made an offer she wouldn’t refuse.”

The others jumped in. “But, she wanted misery. What did you offer, Beau?” Jester asked, worried and louder than the rest. 

“You all - before this all started, you guys had things. People. Me?” Beau’s smile was anything but happy. “Everything good in my life is ‘cause of the Nein. We stopped a war. We met Kima. And I’ve already been the price of one deal with this hag,” she said, nodding resolutely. “No one else should have that hanging over their heads but me. What’s one more, really, when you get down to it? Nott, I know you don’t actually want another war to start and you just panicked, it’s okay. But I can do this - because a mom shouldn’t be away from her kid, and Luc needs you. Moms should be with their kids.”

“Beauregard,” Caleb murmured. “What did you do?”

“She offered to give up Kima,” Yasha said, having caught on the second Beau started talking. “A trade.” Without another word, Yasha walked toward the hut.

Beau immediately scrambled to her side, trying to get her to stop. “Yasha, Yash, no come on,” she pleaded. “It’s okay. I’ve lived without her all my life, I can do it again. Please don’t give anything up for my sake; you’ve lost enough.”

“And you haven’t?” Yasha asked, harsh. “Beau. I will not watch you lose Kima. That’s not happening.”

“The hag already said she’d accept it,” Beau said, wiping at more tears fruitlessly. “It’s a fair exchange.”

“Not for you.” An arm circled around Beau’s waist when she turned away from Yasha and toward the hut, lifting her a few inches in the air to dangle helplessly even as she struggled. “I won’t see you miserable for the rest of your life without your mother Beau. Don’t ask it of me,” Yasha murmured into her hair as Beau gave up. “I love you too much to watch you go through that.”

What were they going to do? Beau wasn’t about to let anyone else make such a sacrifice, and she _ certainly _wasn’t going to help re-start the war they’d barely managed to arrange peace talks for. No matter how much she loved and needed Kima, no one person could be placed above the world. Yasha kept talking to her, but Beau couldn’t really hear her with the blood rushing in her ears. 

“I -”

Jester came charging out of the hut - when had she even gone in there? “Okay we have to go. Like now, right now. Move your butts,” she ordered. “Yasha, don’t put Beau down so she can’t do anything else stupid. Caleb, make your teleport and get us back to Xhorhas. I’ll message Kima when we get there.”

“Jester?” Beau asked, bewildered. “What did you do?”

“Nothing - I fixed it. It’s fine okay? Nott,” Jester patted her on the back, “you’re good. The curse is lifted, I gave the hag a cupcake and we’re friends now. I promise everything is fine, let’s go.” She clapped her hands to get them moving faster. “Let’s _ go._”

* * *

Beau cried herself to sleep in Yasha’s arms that night in the Xhorhaus, not sure if it was leftover despair or just relief that drove the emotions out of her. Her sleep was full of nightmares, sending her tossing and turning until a different, familiar set of stong arms took her gently from Yasha’s hold. 

“I’m here, kiddo,” Kima murmured. “You’re safe.”

“Ma,” Beau croaked, voice still thick with tears.

Kima pressed a kiss to the top of Beau’s head. “It’s okay, Beau. Nothing can hurt you, I’m right here.”

Beau drifted between awake and a half sleep as she vaguely heard Yasha explain the entire series of events to Kima: from Nott’s original curse to finding the hag, her connection to Beau’s family and past, all the way up to what Beau’s offer had entailed. The arms around her stiffened, and Beau flinched, immediately moving to full wakefulness as she tried to prepare for Kima’s wrath. She knew she’d fucked up big this time - maybe Kima would just leave? Maybe she’d be done with Beau after this, anyway, no matter that she didn’t end up making a deal.

“No, it’s alright, Beauregard,” Kima soothed her. “I’m not mad at you. You’re so brave, and selfless, and stupid. Why can’t you be selfish for once in your life baby girl?”

Beau whined, burying her head in Kima’s chest. “Luc deserves a mom who isn’t afraid he’ll hate her if he sees her real face. And Nott deserves to go home and be a mother. Offering to -” she choked on the words. “I thought it was the only thing she would accept and - I could help.”

“Next time - there won’t be a next time but still - just don’t make a deal with a hag. They're pretty much universally shit, and I give you free reign to force them to break any curses they’ve placed on your friends, alright?” A chuckle wound its way from Beau, a little sad, but also with some relief. “What are you thinking kiddo?” Kima asked gently.

“That you’re top two best things that’s ever happened to me, and I almost lost you. And it would have been my fault,” Beau sniffed. “I almost ruined it.”

Kima brushed a hand through Beau’s hair, trying to calm her down. “You didn’t, Beau. You panicked a little bit, and maybe trust your team a little more to come up with another alternative when you’re in the next bad situation. You don’t have to take everything on yourself. It isn’t your responsibility to fix and sacrifice everything just because you love someone. That onus is not on you. Understand?”

“Before you, I think I would have just taken the deal,” Beau mumbled. “Wouldn’t’ve told the rest. I thought about offering up complete exile from my family, but I hoped - maybe - that she’d let me keep something. Before I had you, I would’ve thought life couldn’t get better, so why not choose to end it before it could be taken from me? I always lose everything. Wasn’t until you and the Nein I hoped I might get to _ keep _something.”

“You’re not getting a choice in that, kiddo. You’re mine, remember? And two way street here, but even if you had taken that deal, I’d have hunted that hag down and then you to get you back. Don’t think you’re escaping me that easily Beauregard,” Kima huffed.

For the first time in a week, Beau had a real smile on her face. 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I'm finally caught up on the episodes! And I have SO many Beau and Yasha feels right now, so why not throw in Kima too? Someone (edit: charybdis) a long time ago requested Beau pushing herself too hard in research, and someone else wanted events surrounding Lucien, so here we go.

Beau was getting somewhere with her research, she just _ knew _ it. The answers were _ just _ beyond her reach and beyond the scope of the Cobalt Soul’s archives. Ugh, if only she had a few more details, a few more sureties. The Eyes of Nine, the Nonagon, the Astral Sea and its breathing, living city, and how were Molly’s tattoos, past self, and the ritual surrounding his death tied up in all of it?

And Vess Derogna was tangled in it as well - Beau was sure of that. There was talk of the previous Archmage of Antiquity that Vess had taken over for being associated with darker arts - Vex and Percy had fleshed out some of that story that she’d only previously seen vague details of in hidden away books - maybe it was just a side effect of the job? 

An idea hit her. “Caleb. Since we’ve been to the Air Ashari tribe’s village - to Zephra - you can teleport us there now right? You don’t need a circle to get us to Tal’Dorei?”

“Eh?” Caleb jerked up from the tome he was poring through as Yasha brought over another stack. “Ja. I could. Why?”

“Because then Keyleth or Vilya could get us to Whitestone through the Sun Tree, and I could go through Percy and Cassandra’s library. Percy collects a shit ton of weird ass books - he might have some stuff even the Soul doesn’t. Also he’s made a habit of studying the obscure planes. More the Feywild than the Astral Sea, but it’d be worth a shot while the Soul continues our research here.” As she spoke, Beau’s voice picked up confidence like she was convincing herself at the same time that it was a good idea. “Yasha?”

Yasha seemed to think for a long moment, taking Beau’s hand under the table. They were both still shy about casual affection in front of the others when not in life and death situations. “I - I mean I know I want answers?” she said, sounding unsure. “I’d like to know how - how Molly was involved, or his previous life, or whatever it was, I don’t know.” She shook her head. “I’m just very confused about it, I guess.”

“I have a lot of ideas, and I think I’ve put together most of it; I’ll wait until we’re with the rest of the group before I start explaining it though since it’s really fucking annoying to say things twice, y’know? But even what I’ve got is just - very conspiracy theory. It probably doesn’t make a lot of sense but what does?”

“Also, it would not hurt if Kima and Allura happened to, to learn we were in Whitestone and visited?” Yasha asked knowingly.

Beau blushed. “Well, sure. If they wanted. But that’s not why I want to go!” she rushed to excuse. “I really think I’m close to having all the puzzle pieces, and that Percy can help, I swear! I wouldn’t delay us like that when we have to be in Rexxentrum in a week and I wouldn’t - fucking endanger the mission just to see Kima. I want to figure this out for you Yasha.”

“Beauregard,” Caleb interrupted her panicked explanation. “I believe Yasha was - teasing you, yes? Just teasing.” Yasha gave her an apologetic look as Beau’s eyes flew to hers and nodded. “Perhaps none of us are the best at that and we should leave it to Jester.”

“I think maybe you’re right, Caleb,” Yasha agreed quietly, squeezing Beau’s hand. 

Calmer, Beau pressed into her arm to let her know she wasn’t mad, relieved that her intentions hadn’t been misunderstood. “Okay. So we’ll check with the rest, I can explain my theory, and then maybe Whitestone? Veth could even stay here with Yeza and Luc if she wanted and we could pick her up. Or just I could go, I guess.”

“You’re not going anywhere alone, Beau,” Yasha jumped back into the conversation.

“Ja, Beauregard. I think that’s as good a plan as any to spend the week.”

* * *

“You’re sure this is fine, Yasha?” Beau double checked the next morning before they left their rented room at the inn to join Caleb to teleport to Zephra. The rest were going to stay back in Zadash for the time being and keep Veth’s family company and make sure nothing happened regarding Lucien’s troupe or with Vess. The unexpected trip to Molly’s empty grave the night before had taken a lot out of them emotionally, but particularly Beau and Yasha. 

Yasha hadn’t really said anything since they returned, except to wake in the middle of the night and coax Beau away from her notebooks to get at least a few hours sleep before they left for Tal’Dorei. But she nodded as Beau yawned. “Of course, Beau. I was - I was just kidding yesterday. I know I have a, a very dry sense of humor, that it confuses you guys a lot. We couldn’t have left early anyway, without Caduceus’ armor. I mean, I don’t think it, but I know you call yourself an asshole a lot, but I don’t think I’ve ever really seen you be inconsiderate to someone who didn’t deserve it.”

“Well,” Beau gave her a shit eating grin while stifling a second yawn, “you didn’t see me as a teenager. I was inconsiderate to everyone.”

“No. No I didn’t. But I would have liked to. I think maybe you probably just, you know, needed a friend.” Yasha gently tucked a strand of hair that had escaped Beau’s bun back behind her ear. “Or maybe someone trying to understand who you were trying to be, and not the family you got. I told your father that day before we left, but I should have, I think - maybe said it loud enough for you to hear. That he should be proud of you because he’s lucky to have had you.”

Beau frowned. “I - I did hear you, _ kind of _threaten him? About losing everything?”

“Yeah yeah yeah I did do that,” Yasha admitted hastily, blushing a bit. “But I think I was wrong, because he doesn’t have you. He lost you because he was too much of a dick to see how amazing you were. And we are lucky enough to have you now - us and Kima, you know?”

She was always so fucking _ sincere_, it made Beau melt constantly. How was she supposed to play anything cool when Yasha looked at her with those eyes that cared so much and turned her insides into that marshmallow stuff Jester always called them? This was what led to them having a conversation about fucking _ grass _ of all things. _ Multiple _times. Any sense of eloquence was just out the door when Yasha was involved. “I love you,” was all she could say, crooked half grin on her face. She was at least getting better at saying that.

“I love you too,” Yasha replied easily, leaning down to kiss the top of Beau’s head. 

* * *

“When is the last time you slept, Beau?”

Beau did her best to ignore Yasha’s reproach from the doorway. “I’m good, Yash. I just need a couple more hours to figure this out. I think I’m on to something.” It would help if the letters stopped trying to swim off the pages in front of her.

A grunt. “So the fact that Percy is snoring in the corner and drooling on that book is fine?” Yasha’s tone implied that it was not - in fact - fine.

“Aw shit.” Beau slumped in her chair for a moment. “He was supposed to read me that passage. I’m pretty sure there’s something helpful in that one.” Now she was going to have to skim it. 

“Beau. You haven’t slept in over twenty-four hours.”

“I’m almost there.”

“If I have to get Kima, I will,” Yasha threatened.

At that, Beau finally glanced up. Shit, Yasha’s eyes were serious, but she was _ so close_. She just needed a little more time. “Give me two hours.”

“Beauregard.”

“Two hours.”

The door shutting a few seconds later clued Beau in to the fact that Yasha had left the library. She was screwed. Yasha was going to go get Kima and then she was going to get yelled at and forced to bed. Maybe she could finish this section’s transcription before Yasha got back and it would be enough. 

Maybe she could hide? No, that wouldn’t work.

She was _ nearly _ finished with the last helpful passage in her current tome when the door slammed open and the voice she was dreading called out. “Beauregard Lionett. Get your _ ass _to bed right now,” Kima ordered.

“I’m almost done.” In for a copper, right?

“_Now_. Or I will have Yasha drag you there and pin you down until you sleep.”

“Sounds like a great night.” Beau cringed as soon as the words were out of her mouth. A cuff upside the head a moment later was no less than she deserved or expected.

Kima spun Beau’s chair around even as she protested so that she could stare her down. “We all kept away to give you and Percy a chance to focus, but you aren’t going to help anybody if you can’t even think straight. And look at Percy over there - I’m going to have to send in Vex to wake him up and drag him off to bed as well. Did either of you sleep at all last night, and don’t you lie to me. Yasha already told me the truth.”

Beau glared sullenly for a moment but couldn’t hold eye contact. “Percy got a few hours, but I was reading. I’m close Kima, I can feel it.”

“And you will still be close in the morning, and better for having _ rested_. Properly. In a bed. They have those here.”

“_Ma_.” 

Oh fuck, she was tired. She’d just _ whined_. Like a toddler. While calling Kima ‘mom’ again with Percy in the room, asleep or not. No dignity.

“Yeah, maybe if you were still a kid, that pout would work on me,” Kima chuckled. “Yasha, get in here,” she called over her shoulder. “Your girlfriend needs that nap.” Beau mumbled something under her breath, but Kima only caught the word ‘daughter’. “You may be my kid, but right now you belong to the person who can actually carry you. I bear no responsibility for you until you wake up in the morning.”

Beau seemed to think that over, her exhausted brain slowing down to a near halt as it was promised sleep at last. “Still love me?” she muttered after a long minute, gaze drifting toward the floor.

Kima softened as Yasha inched into room and pulled Beau in for a tight hug. Beau sighed in relief and leaned into it. “I will never not, Beauregard. But I do prefer you more awake than this and not killing yourself for a few bits of information that’s really only to confirm what you’re brilliant twisty brain has already put together. Everybody trusts you, and you’re not letting anyone down by giving yourself time to rest. Now, please. Let Yasha take you to bed.”

“...‘kay,” Beau finally gave in, nodding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might have another one along these veins for after the actual meeting Molly/Lucien. We'll see.


	18. Chapter 18

That wasn’t Molly. 

Whatever that person was, whatever their goals, he wasn’t Molly. Whether that meant Molly had been just a remnant piece of Lucien and was now ‘absorbed’ back into him, or if he was in some plane of the afterlife waiting for them to reunite, Molly truly was dead and gone. 

And that had to be hell on Yasha.

She hadn’t let go of Beau’s hand since the Tombtakers had left their line of sight, filing out with their eerie, synchronized mannerisms. Whatever they had going on was enough to unnerve Beau, which didn’t happen very often anymore. And she didn’t know what the fuck to say to Yasha that would help - no matter how being with Yasha and having Kima and even Allura had slowly softened her around the edges, she was still often a punch first then ask questions kind of woman. But she could try.

“Yash?” she asked hesitantly. “You okay?” She immediately rolled her eyes at herself. Of course Yasha wasn’t going to fucking be alright after seeing her best friend back from the dead but entirely not himself. Who would be okay after that?

Yasha squeezed her hand tighter for a moment, interrupting her self-castigation just as it began. “I am - I don’t know.” Her voice was soft, contemplative. At least she didn’t sound like she was falling apart. “I need to think.” She dropped Beau’s hand and wandered off toward the doorway of the chamber, leaning against the metal door with her eyes fixed on the ground.

Beau waited impatiently for Caleb to finish his inspection of the room she’d already cased with her eyes and decided was a waste of time to look deeper. The Tombtakers had taken the one thing of value - a threshold crest. Her feelings about Caleb and even Fjord were...mixed at the moment. They had both pushed back against her reluctance to expose Yasha to various elements of this journey that could endanger her body and soul. Hadn’t Yasha been through enough? Fjord seemed to have backed off, but Caleb was being even more stubborn than normal and second guessing Beau almost every time she spoke. It was frustrating, especially after his introduction of the mansion to them. He paid such close attention and understood them all so well - why was he being so deliberately obstinate now?

She was trying to be patient, which really, no one in her group nor Kima were the best influence for. It was taking a lot of the training and drilling from Dairon’s few teachings to keep calm with all the stress flying around from everyone. 

“There is nothing more to be gained here,” Caleb finally announced, interrupting Beau’s thoughts. “We should go up and fetch our guide if we are to follow them as Lucien has so courteously offered.”

“You ready to go, Yasha?” Beau checked. 

Yasha tucked away her book of all the flowers she’d collected. “Yeah. Yes, I’m ready. Let’s go.” 

* * *

They rarely spent nights apart anymore. Only if Jester had had a really bad day and was afraid to sleep alone did Beau and Yasha separate, and even then Jester wanted them both there more often than not. Apart from those rare occasions, they shared a room. Caleb had designed them their own special rooms and sleeping areas so specific to each of them and they were wonderful, but Beau and Yasha just alternated or went for the one on the lowest floor, depending on how tired they were.

But that night, Yasha disappeared up the central column and into her room the moment the tower was up without a word to anyone. A cat sent up when dinner was served came back Yasha-less. The meal was long and near silent.

It had been a while since Beau had felt insecure about her place with someone. Especially with Kima’s help in building up her confidence - which Beau had whined and complained every time Kima ‘talked her up’ to someone, but it really had done wonders in giving her another perspective on herself. Allowed for some good self-reflection. Beau wasn’t too proud to admit she’d grown.

What was she supposed to do about this? She couldn’t fix this. Not with research, not with fighting. She couldn’t make Lucien give Yasha her best friend back. Would she be just as evil as Lucien if she tried to force him out and put Molly in his place? Never mind that he was trying to bring back some ancient, pre-Calamity city of most likely evil or insane or both mages that had fled divine retribution into a different plane and had somehow changed into a living, anthropomorphic city. That probably made him evil enough to tip the scales and she wouldn’t be for trying to get rid of him. Probably.

“Jester? Can I borrow the mirror for a minute?” she was asking before she even thought about it.

“Oh!” Jester dug around in her haversack before triumphantly producing the mirror. “I should have given this to you ages ago! I can just message Allura if we need them but you can totally use this to talk to your mama whenever Beau! Also, you really should eat something Beau; it’s not good to skip meals,” she chided, handing the mirror over.

“She’s right,” Caduceus piped up.

Beau was already out of her seat and leaving the room, the typical embarrassment from Jester calling Kima her mom in front of everybody not even registering. “Not hungry.” She needed to talk to Kima. 

Heading up the column, she stopped at Yasha’s door for a moment and hesitantly rested her hand against the dark gray wood. She hoped to hear the sounds of Yasha’s harp, that maybe she was soothing herself and not just stewing, but there was only silence.

“Fuck,” she muttered and walked away.

Once in the privacy of her own room, Beau swept all the loose paper off her desk and plopped down, setting the mirror in front of her with trembling hands. Who was probably holding on to it? Were either of them? Maybe they thought it wasn’t needed anymore since Jester had no problem Sending to them at the most random of times. This was a stupid, last ditch idea and she should just solve her own fucking problems instead of running to Kima for help whenever she came up against the slightest inconvenience. Gods, she wasn’t a _ child_. She was a godsdamned adult. 

But she _ wanted _Kima. Kima would help if she asked - would want her to ask. 

Screwing up her courage and lifting the middle finger to her pride, Beau quietly called out, “Kima?” while holding the mirror in a white knuckled grip.

Allura’s face appeared a mere moment later. “Beauregard,” she greeted with a smile. “How is the freezing north?”

“Not good,” Beau said with shake of her head and twisted lips. “We found him, but…”

When she trailed off, Allura sighed. “I am sorry, my darling. I know you hoped for a different outcome. Would you like me to fetch Kima?”

“Please?” Beau tried really hard to not sound like she was begging, but she wasn’t sure she succeeded.

“Of course, little one. Just a moment.” Allura’s visage disappeared, but Beau could still hear her through her grip on the mirror. “Kima, darling! Beau would like to speak with you. Come inside.” 

There were muffled words a minute later, then Kima’s face appeared. “Hey kid. Heard you were having a rough time. How’s Yasha holding up?”

Of course Kima would have instantly figured out why Beau was wanting to talk. “I don’t know,” she muttered with a shrug. “She kind of didn’t say anything and now she’s in her room and I don’t think she wants to talk to me. I should - I should leave her alone, right? No sense fucking up and invading her space or whatever when she doesn’t want me around.”

“Hey,” Kima said firmly. “Stop doubting yourself. You’ve been together what - a year now? In all of that time has Yasha ever seemed the type to hide her intentions and make you guess where you stand with her?”

“No,” Beau said petulantly. “But what if I -”

“She’s not your father, kiddo.”

Those calm words pulled Beau from her rising panic. She dropped her head to rest on one arm, making sure to keep hold of the mirror in her other hand so she wouldn’t lose her connection to Kima. “Molly’s gone for good,” she mumbled into the desk. “And I don’t know what to do or how to help. Anyone.”

“You are good at being there for someone and letting them figure things out on their own. You don’t force the issue, Beau. That’s why so many of your friends confide in you,” Kima reminded her. “You give them a sounding board to work out their issues and that gives them confidence in themselves in turn. It’s one of the many amazing things about you kid.”

“...Oh.”

“Didn’t think about that one, did you?”

Beau slumped. “No.”

“So what does Yasha need from you?”

She took a minute to think about it. “She just wanted to say good-bye to Molly. She didn’t expect to get him back at all, so - I think she’ll be okay. Yasha likes it when I’m around her, let her talk if she feels like it.”

“There you go, Beauregard.” Kima’s voice was proud. “So go be with your girlfriend already and let me have dinner with my wife.”

Beau grinned. “Thanks Ma.”

“Anytime, kid.”

* * *

Before she could go interrupt Yasha’s solitude, Beau had to do one thing. She grabbed a sheet of paper that had floated to the floor and began writing furiously. Yasha’s written enunciation of her feelings, even a year after they’d first gotten together, had been beautiful. Beau hadn’t been able to keep from crying as she read and re-read her words over and over. Maybe this would become their ‘thing’.

_ Yasha, _

_ You gave me one of these once, after a hard day. I know we talked after that, but maybe I should have returned the favor. Should have done a lot of things, really. But that’s not the point. _

_ I know today...fucking sucked. I’m sorry I don’t have a more flowery way to say it. It was shit for you - for all of us, but especially for you. I lost Molly when I was supposed to be looking after him for you, and I know you never blamed us, but I’ll carry a little kernel of that guilt for the rest of my life. _

_ That today wasn’t Molly. You told me that you didn’t have any expectations of getting him back and neither did I, really, but I was hoping I’d get the chance to at least try for your sake. It was kind of you, to give him that clover. Your kindness always astounds me. I wish it’d meant more to him. _

_ Take your time, Yasha. If you want to be alone, I’ll make sure no one bothers you until you’re ready. I’ll be right here when you are. _

_ I love you _ <strike>_ Angel_</strike>_. _

_ Beauregard _

Beau didn’t let herself read it over before she sealed it, afraid she’d rip it to pieces and never send one if she did. “Jinx? Could you take this to Yasha’s room? Thanks.” The cat mrrp-ed and ambled through the hole in the wall with the letter secure in its mouth.

The silence quickly became oppressive, so Beau wrapped her arms back up and started punching the wooden dummy in the corner of her room to work off some of her excess nervous energy. She slipped into her meditative state, letting the days events wash over her. 

Deep into the stillness of her meditation, Beau didn’t hear the first knock on her door. The sound of the door opening didn’t draw her attention either, and it wasn’t until she landed a kick hard enough to shatter the dummy’s post holding it up did she turn around and see Yasha sitting on the floor on the opposite wall, watching her. 

Beau leapt about a foot in the air. “Fuck, Yash!” she squealed in a tone she would never admit to owning. “You scared the shit out of me.” She pressed a hand over her heart, trying to slow it back down to where it was a moment ago.

“Sorry,” Yasha apologized sheepishly. “You didn’t answer the door, but Jinx seemed to think it’d be okay for me to come in.”

“Yeah, no totally. Whenever you want, you know that,” Beau scrambled to say. “You uh, you got the note then?”

“Yes.” Yasha fidgeted, and only then did Beau notice that there was a familiar piece of paper folded neatly and still in Yasha’s grasp. 

Her hand came up and nervously scratched at the back of her neck. “Sorry - if I overstepped or anything. You didn’t have to come up here if you wanted to be alone for a bit longer, I wasn’t trying to guilt you or anything.”

“Beauregard.” Yasha stopped her nervous ramble with one word, then even more thoroughly when she bent down to kiss her. “Thank you,” she breathed against Beau’s lips. “I love you.”

“Love you too, Yash,” Beau replied with a stupid, crooked grin before sobering quickly. “Are you okay? Really?”

Yasha nodded, looking sure of herself. “All I ever wanted was the chance to say good-bye to him. And I know it wasn’t really him today, but I feel like I was finally - able to do that. I’m still sad that he is - not here anymore, but it was good.”

“Good.”

There was quiet for a moment as Beau let herself relax in Yasha’s arms, but of course it couldn’t stay that way. “Kima had to calm you down, didn’t she?”

Beau groaned at the teasing, throwing her head back dramatically while Yasha quietly chuckled. “Yes,” Beau muttered almost inaudibly. 

“Never change, Beau.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kima's not actually in this one beyond being mentioned, but someone asked way back for Beau being protective and comforting Yasha. So here we go.

They were fighting some new disciples of Uk'otoa's or another. At this point, Beau had lost track. What mattered was, several nightmares had come back - Avantika for the _ third _ time and seriously, why couldn’t she just stay fucking dead, Beau wondered to herself as she fought desperately - and the Nein were in trouble. As far as she knew, Caleb still had a hold on the Cloven Crystal in his amber dimension or whatever the fuck, so that was good. _ And _he wasn’t currently bleeding out, so big plus there.

Bad news was that some of these things had somehow learned charm effects, and Beau knew exactly who was most susceptible to that influence. She’d been trying to work with Yasha since getting her back from Obann on meditation and creating a still place in her mind that she could retreat to, but progress was slow. Especially if Yasha had also simultaneously let her pent up anger loose. Those two things weren’t exactly compatible inside one brain. 

Allura and Kima were looking into finding or possibly even creating an item with the help of a friend of Vox Machina’s - some Gilbert or other - but they’d hit a lot of dead ends in their research. Meaning Yasha was still vulnerable. 

And now Yasha had gone eerily still in a manner that was unfortunately all too familiar. “Fuck,” Beau muttered, bashing Avantika’s rotting face in with the end of her staff one more time before ducking out of the way of her retaliation and making a beeline for Yasha. “Hey, Yasha,” she said gently, ready for anything. “You want to take a break maybe? We could just have a seat and chill for a minute, yeah?” Magician’s Judge was suddenly leveled at her face. “Or, that. Sure.”

What was it Kima had said about rushing headlong into danger unprepared and fuck the consequences? 

Oh right. _ Don’t_.

Beau dodged out of the way of Yasha’s first swing, cursing. She would really rather not hit her girlfriend, even though she could take probably about fifty swings from her stick before Beau started doing any real damage to her. Yasha was awesome like that. “Fuck it.” Beau lashed out with her staff, hoping to maybe get a lucky hit and stun her, only to have it be caught in one hand by her much stronger girlfriend. It was ripped from her fingers, leaving Beau with just her fists. “Okay okay okay,” she muttered, falling into her defensive stance. 

She expected Yasha to come at her with her sword again. That was generally how this went. Beau was _ not _anticipating Yasha to swipe her blade out one handed, causing Beau to duck and scoot backward, right into her own bo staff that Yasha held behind her legs.

It was a good bit of combat trickery, one they would have to look into in the future, Beau thought as she fell flat on her back, the breath knocked out of her. Maybe she and Yasha could have a series of cons like Caleb and Veth. Assuming she survived this, in any case. It wasn’t often anymore that she got tripped up. The pommel to the chest to hasten the fall didn’t help much though. “Shit,” she coughed, trying to get her air back. 

Yasha stood over her, face emotionless. But Beau could see her eyes - those too pretty, mismatched eyes. The Judge was held, point down, hovering over the center of her chest. A position all too familiar from months and months ago.

The look in those eyes was familiar too. The terror and pain and struggle to fight against a force Yasha might always find herself prey to. Nobody could be perfect.

Beau attempted to wriggle away and disengage, but a boot immediately stomped down on her midsection and held her in place. They weren’t both sentinels for nothing - she was going to have track marks lined into her skin. “It’s alright, Yasha,” Beau tried to reassure her, still wheezing a bit as she gave in. “It’s not you. We’re gonna be fine.”

The boot crushed down harder and when Yasha raised the sword, Beau had to close her eyes. Getting stabbed was not an unknown feeling at this point in their adventuring, but she didn’t want Yasha to have to remember the look in her eyes as it happened. Not this time. There was a brief moment of relief as the tip of the sword no longer dug into her chest that quickly turned back into deep, piercing pain.

But - it wasn’t like the last time. There was no feeling as if her soul was being forced from her body, or that black around the edges of her vision as she was thrown into unconsciousness. Instead, there was a scream and a raging “No!” and the sword was suddenly gone.

Beau dared to open her eyes and found Yasha kneeling over her, a shaking hand coming to rest on her chest and healing that always felt like forks of lightning surged through her bones. One of Uk'otoa's undead minions creeped up on them, but before Beau could attempt to croak a warning, Yasha had beheaded it one-handed without ever looking, her eyes fixed on Beau’s. Apology was written all over them. 

“Never again,” Yasha promised, heaving for breath like she’d run miles after her. “I swear it, Beauregard. Not again.”

Beau leaned into the trembling hand placed against her cheek and brought her own hand up to cover it. Her chest stung a bit, but it was negligible compared to the fiery pride roaring inside her. Yasha, for possibly the first time ever, had broken out of someone else’s control entirely on her own. No assistance or punching necessary. “Alright,” she murmured. 

The remaining apostles of Uk’otoa were dealt with fairly easily by the Nein while Yasha remained hovering over Beau, protective and angry. Anything that happened to stumble near met the sharp end of the Judge, but Yasha refused to leave her guardpost or let Beau sit up until one of the clerics came to look her over.

“I’m okay,” she insisted for the fifth time in two minutes. “It’s barely a nick - probably won’t even scar.” Her whining usually made Yasha smile, but not that time.

“I am - _ fucking _tired of hurting you,” Yasha muttered, still keeping an eye out for anything even though the Nein had cleared the decks of the ship. “I’m sick of not being able to control myself, of being chained inside my own mind.”

“I know. But Yasha, you did it. You got yourself out of it, and I’m so fucking proud of you.” Beau finally managed to force Yasha to let her at least sit up and move part of the way off the wet and freezing deck. “That was amazing, Yash.” Yasha slumped and buried her face in the top of Beau’s hair, breathing her in. Beau let it happen, happy to take the opportunity to snuggle in closer while she was mostly blocked from the rest of their family’s view by Yasha’s larger frame. “You know that no matter if it _ does _ happen again, it’s never going to be your fault, right?” Beau murmured into her tunic. “No one, _ especially _me, will blame you for the way your brain works. You’ve been hurt so many times, been pulled in so many directions - and you’re so strong Yasha. It’s pretty fucking rare for one god to call on a person, and as bad as some of them are, more than one god has wanted you. Sure, one is an insane Betrayer God, but the point stands you get what I mean.” 

Yasha chuckled, breath hitching for a moment before she gathered herself. “I do understand, Beau. Thank you.”

“And you love me, which can be a chore, and...you’re an angel. Or at least descended from one. That’s fucking amazing.”

Beau yelped as fingers pinched at her side. “Loving you has never been a chore beyond getting past my own difficulties,” Yasha chided her. “What would Kima say if she heard you talking like that?”

“Oh, she’d beat my ass, but she’s not here. What she doesn’t know can’t hurt me,” Beau joked.

“Until I tell her.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“I would.”

Beau glared into Yasha’s eyes, trying desperately to not let a smile creep up on her. She failed spectacularly, and Yasha started laughing in a way she rarely did. “I hate you,” Beau hmphed, crossing her arms.

“Of course.” Yasha was still smiling, satisfied at having managed to make Beau trip over her own words again. The way she always seemed able to in a way no one else could. “So if I decided I wanted to bring out the wings and...maybe fly to the crow’s nest for the evening, maybe keep watch...where it’s quiet and there is privacy...you wouldn’t want to come. I understand.”

“Hey! I - I didn’t say that!” Beau spluttered. “Don’t make any rash decisions here.”

She’d completely forgotten the rest of the Nein - not to mention their crew. The sound of stifled chuckles pulled both of their attention away from each other at last, to find Jester giggling on the other side of the deck as Fjord tried to hush her. Marius and Gallan were both staring, looking perplexed to see Beau blushing and embarrassed instead of harassing them. “Are they always like this?” Marius whispered - not very quietly.

“Oh,” Caduceus sighed. “More often than not these days. Isn’t that nice? Very entertaining.” With a nod and benevolent sort of grin, he ushered the crewmen below deck for a hard earned hot dinner. Even though Marius _ still _hadn’t managed to kill someone. Beau would get on his ass for it later.

Fjord managed to corral Jester and a suddenly appeared Veth and pushed them after the others. “We’ll leave evening watch to you two then,” he said over his shoulder. “Don’t get so lost in each other you forget to look for monsters.”

“Fuck you, Fjord!” Beau shouted after him. 

She was going to complain more but was interrupted by a swift kiss from Yasha. “How about that flight?” Yasha suggested quietly.

“Y-Yeah. Fly away.”

“Don’t let her intimidate you, Beau!” Veth screeched from the stairs, having escaped Fjord’s best efforts at containment.

“Fuck you too Veth!” Beau flipped off the halfling and threw a ball bearing at her for good measure, making her yelp and scamper back down below. “Can we get out of here now?” she practically begged Yasha.

Once they were safely deposited in the crow’s nest, complete with the pillows Jester always seemed to add to every ship they ended up on, no matter if it currently belonged to them or not, Yasha drew back. Beau turned to her, confused, but Yasha had a look on her face that could only be regret. A finger traced the hole in the chest of her tunic that had yet to be mended. “I keep hurting you.”

“I mean - I can take it.” Yasha’s expression immediately soured, so Beau rushed to continue. “No no no, not like that. Not like, a punishment or prove myself useful kind of thing. Don’t tell Kima I said that. I just - I’m pretty slippery, and kind of fast, and...you know. Might sound bad, but - I’d rather it be me you’re attacking than anyone else. Mostly ‘cause I want your undivided attention.”

Yasha scoffed and shook her head, not willing to be redirected. “This keeps happening. If I had -” She hesitated for a long, long moment. “If I had killed you, that would’ve been - I couldn’t - it would have been too much.”

Beau took her hand. “Yash, you barely touched me before you broke out of it.”

“Not today.”

It took a second, but Beau eventually caught on. “Back at the cathedral?”

“You were just lying there, and I was screaming, but no one could hear me. I couldn’t even hear myself. His voice…” They hadn’t talked about Yasha’s time not in control of herself very often, and Beau wondered if maybe she should have pressed the issue more. “He told me to finish you. And I would have, because he told me I was his _ friend _ \- so I would have. If Caduceus hadn’t broken me out of it, and I’d killed you…” Yasha grimaced, her eyes darkening with rage for a moment before they cleared. “I’ve lost too many people. I’ve run from more. I couldn’t lose you too. Do you understand Beauregard?”

She hated the defeated look in Yasha’s eyes. Yasha was supposed to be gentle and happy like when she looked through the flowers in her book. Whenever Beau managed to snag her a new one she hadn’t seen before. Beau had read three books on flowers and other related botany for the various regions of Wildemount they’d visited the last time they’d been at a Cobalt archive just so she’d be able to tell Yasha about some of the flora they found on their travels. A surge of protectiveness washed over Beau. “If that had happened, the clerics could have brought me back. They _ have _ brought me back, Yash. You helped them do that. And they’ve only gotten better since. But even if they couldn’t, you keep going without me. I’m not - honestly, you’re better at words than I am, but - my world got...softer. When you turned up in my life. Safer. Like I didn’t have to defend myself from _ everything _ all the time. And other people deserve to see that too.”

“Beau…”

“I’m not saying that like - I’m not ordering you to do anything. But it’s pretty much the greatest thing in my life, getting to spend even a day with you. Let alone all the ones I’ve gotten. And we have this family that needs looking after. They’re such fucking disasters. You’d want me to keep going if I lost you, wouldn’t you?”

“Well, yes,” Yasha agreed reluctantly.

Beau crawled up onto her knees so she could face Yasha and frame both her cheeks in her hands. “I love you. And I love Kima, and Allura, and this weird ass family we’ve got,” she added with an eye roll. “But mostly I love you. So let’s just agree that we’ll do our best to not kick it any time soon, and if we do, to tell off Vax and the Raven Queen and come straight back. How’s that sound?”

Yasha’s smile finally reached her eyes. “I mean, pretty good,” she allowed. 

“Yeah. And if you need to hear it, I forgive you. I know I blew it off way back, but I forgive you for the cathedral. And for today.” Beau leaned forward to kiss Yasha, then settled back into her lap. Warm lips pressed against her temple, and Beau smiled contently before a yawn interrupted. “Fuck, I am beat though.”

“Go to sleep,” Yasha gently urged. “I’ll wake you when they call for food.”

“Caddy better make me bacon tonight. I know he’s been saving some,” Beau mumbled with grumpy sleepiness. “I deserve it.”

“That and everything else.”

Beau grunted, eyes closed as she cuddled even closer. “I’ll stick with the bacon. And you. And Kima,” she tacked on. “I’ll keep you.”

“I’m fine with that.”


End file.
